BPD diagnosis

[rsychk05]

I know there are many here dealing with an SO or ex who is uBPD. My H recently went to see a LSW for the first time who flat out told him (he says) on the first visit that there is no way he has BPD. Has anyone else dealt with this?

Prior to this appointment I had gotten him to agree to regular therapy appointments and a group DBT. Now he won't go and doesn't think any of this applies to him. He previously conceded that he had all but one of the symptoms of BPD. Until recently, he has suspected maybe he was bipolar.

My T is the one who originally suggested BPD and after doing much research and reading on my own, I am in complete agreement. I read threads here and recognize so many similarities in how he behaves and what he says. The diagnosis is not important to me, but the steps he was going to take to get help were and now he doesn't think they apply at all to him so he won't do them and thinks it's unfair. H instead wants to try couples counseling with a new T and while I have agreed, I am hesitant because I feel is emotionally abusive and what I say there will at some point be used against me.

[tbddbt]

The same thing happened with my wife.  After she was diagnosed with BPD, she went to another therapist with the sole intention of getting her to say she wasn't.  pwBPD are very maniupulative and can be guarded if they think they will be judged.  Therapists can only go by what people tell them.  If your SO is only interested in getting "proof" that he is not BPD, no amount of therapy will help him.  Don't make the same mistakes I made and ruin your life like I have done.

[Lucky Jim]

Therapists can only go by what people tell them.

Agree w/that, tbddbt.  By analogy, when I confronted my BPDxW about her drinking problem, she went to see her Doctor, who purportedly confirmed that she was not alcoholic and it was just stress.  Yet I'm certain my Ex didn't relate to her Dr. that she was drinking a 12-pack (yes, a 12-pack of Coors Light) every night.  So you can't go by what they are telling you, and who knows what the T actually said to your H.

LuckyJim