My BPD (currently ex) has now told me to leave our house again. I'm also starting to think he may also have NPD along with BPD. This happened last year in November also. He has either left or told me to leave every couple of years before that.
He’s saying the same old speech that he’s never been in a relationship with me (we lived together for over a decade), he’s trapped in a prison sentence. He screams that “he doesn’t like me!”
This time he informed me that he is planning to take a job in a different city or a different country and he will have to sell our house. He refuses to tell me if he has already accepted a job offer or not or where he’s going. He will not discuss the details any further with me but told me I have 3 months or less to get out and take our cats and the sooner the better. He has to give his current employer 3 months notice before he quits.
He won't say when he's leaving or planning to sell. I would think he's bluffing, but I did hear him on an interview last week and I'm getting property ads on FB. I do NOT want to sell our house. We have lived here for 8 years. Legally, I have rights to half of our house, but I don't want to bring that up to him because that's one of his triggers.
I asked him what he wants to do with our belongings and he said he doesn't care and I can take what I want and figure it out myself.
When I tried to discuss things he told me I just made it worse and started yelling nonsense like, “You need to move on and become a stripper”. He also keeps saying I will find a nice man and get married and be happy.
I told him this is not what I want, but if that's what he wants then I will leave.
I wrote him a letter because that's the only way that he seems to listen to what I have to say without going into a rage. I basically said I still care for him and support him and wish I didn't have to leave, but I will if that's what he really wants. I also said that if I leave and go back to my home country, I don't think I will be able to come back.
He replied back that he doesn't want to hear about any feelings I have for him because they are not reciprocated. And he wants to start a healthy, friendly relationship with me, but to do that we need to first separate physically and emotionally. He said we can’t have that living together even though we get along well. This doesn't make sense to me. He always says things that are similar when he splits like, "if you would leave me then we could be together". He also said to tell my family because he doesn't want them to have any contact with him anymore.
He is planning to go visit his family for a month in Dec-Jan and going to leave me alone on Christmas. He wants me to “take care of the house and pets while he’s gone”. My family lives overseas. I'm really not sure if he actually took another job, but I feel like he's not thinking rationally at this time. I honestly don't have anywhere else to go at the moment and I'm emotionally exhausted. He will not talk to me anymore about the situation.
I’ve dealt with this many times, but now he added the new job element. I feel like if he accepts a job he’d have to commit.
Are there any ways I can diffuse this with the least amount of damage?
