We are all soda pop bottles.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Borderlines suck all of the good out of us.
Then they throw us off to the side but keep us around so later they can recycle us and get another nickel out of us.

Had that revelation this morning and wanted to share.

[Hisaccount]

Borderlines suck all of the good out of us.
Then they throw us off to the side but keep us around so later they can recycle us and get another nickel out of us.

Had that revelation this morning and wanted to share.

[infjEpic]

Borderlines suck all of the good out of us.
Then they throw us off to the side but keep us around so later they can recycle us and get another nickel out of us.

Had that revelation this morning and wanted to share.

They don't suck all the good out of us, although it sure feels like that in the aftermath.

What they do is infect us - make us toxic.
They make us believe the good has been sucked out of us.

In reality, the good never went away. It just gets clouded over.

Once we detoxify, most people come out of the BPD trauma, as better people than they went into it - wiser and more resilient... .and probably with a more mature understanding of love.

[stimpy]

For me, it's like surfers and swimmers.

The way I think about it sometimes is that pwBPD are like surfers and we the nons, are like swimmers. They spend their lives surfing a huge wave that never ends, it goes on forever, rolling, changing, nothing is stable, everything is exaggerated and its exhausting. They have to spend their lives balancing all their intense currents (emotions), desperately trying not to fall off their surf board. If they fall off, they might drown (or at least that's what they think might happen). It's exciting and volatile and sometimes a bit dangerous, but that is how their lives are. Sometimes they take a drink or two, thinking it'll help calm them down - but really it just makes things worse.

We (the nons) meanwhile swim near the shore, there are some waves, but they aren't too bad, we'll never drown as we are so close to the shore and the sea is only 5 feet deep, so we'll always be ok, as long as we stay near the shore.

Trouble is, sometimes we see a surfer and we think, wow, that looks cool, I love the look of the person surfing, and meanwhile the surfer looks at the swimmer and thinks that is just the sort of person I'd like to have around, that person looks stable and calm and solid, just what I need.

Trouble is, it is always  us that jumps on the board, never them that joins us near the shore. So we jump on the board, and the two of us have a great time, riding the waves, riding the emotions, it's a bit unstable with two people on the board, but it's great fun.

Yep, it's great fun until we get really close to the surfer, too close for them to balance their board any more, too close for them to see the waves coming, too close for them to ride the board properly. So we get closer to the surfer, to try and help, but that makes it worse and worse, the board becomes less and less stable as the two of us lovers cling on, then there is one final big wave, and one of two things happen.

Either the surfer pushes us off, to get control of the board again, and anyway they thought we might jump and destabilise it completely, so they had to push us off.

Or we get sea sick, realise that the surfer isn't able to keep the two of us on the board and cant stay on the board, and we jump, and swim back to shore.

Either way, the swim is long and arduous, we are tired and most of our friends have gone home for the evening, and anyway, they all said it would end badly. And we get back to shore, exhausted, and have to rebuild our strength, and make sure we never do it again.

[Shawna76]

For me, it's like surfers and swimmers.

The way I think about it sometimes is that pwBPD are like surfers and we the nons, are like swimmers. They spend their lives surfing a huge wave that never ends, it goes on forever, rolling, changing, nothing is stable, everything is exaggerated and its exhausting. They have to spend their lives balancing all their intense currents (emotions), desperately trying not to fall off their surf board. If they fall off, they might drown (or at least that's what they think might happen). It's exciting and volatile and sometimes a bit dangerous, but that is how their lives are. Sometimes they take a drink or two, thinking it'll help calm them down - but really it just makes things worse.

We (the nons) meanwhile swim near the shore, there are some waves, but they aren't too bad, we'll never drown as we are so close to the shore and the sea is only 5 feet deep, so we'll always be ok, as long as we stay near the shore.

Trouble is, sometimes we see a surfer and we think, wow, that looks cool, I love the look of the person surfing, and meanwhile the surfer looks at the swimmer and thinks that is just the sort of person I'd like to have around, that person looks stable and calm and solid, just what I need.

Trouble is, it is always  us that jumps on the board, never them that joins us near the shore. So we jump on the board, and the two of us have a great time, riding the waves, riding the emotions, it's a bit unstable with two people on the board, but it's great fun.

Yep, it's great fun until we get really close to the surfer, too close for them to balance their board any more, too close for them to see the waves coming, too close for them to ride the board properly. So we get closer to the surfer, to try and help, but that makes it worse and worse, the board becomes less and less stable as the two of us lovers cling on, then there is one final big wave, and one of two things happen.

Either the surfer pushes us off, to get control of the board again, and anyway they thought we might jump and destabilise it completely, so they had to push us off.

Or we get sea sick, realise that the surfer isn't able to keep the two of us on the board and cant stay on the board, and we jump, and swim back to shore.

Either way, the swim is long and arduous, we are tired and most of our friends have gone home for the evening, and anyway, they all said it would end badly. And we get back to shore, exhausted, and have to rebuild our strength, and make sure we never do it again.

[Shawna76]

Surfers and Swimmers is a great way to explain it.

 My H who has pwBPD just keeps surfing and now I'm to the point where, I just swim out just far enough where I'm still safe but he sees and hears me. Just to say, "Hey hun. I'm still here while you work that wave Babe"! It seems to work for now. Well, kind of.

[apollotech]

Borderlines suck all of the good out of us.
Then they throw us off to the side but keep us around so later they can recycle us and get another nickel out of us.

Had that revelation this morning and wanted to share.

No one recycles unwillingly. If you don't own it, you can't change it.

[FindingMe2011]

Borderlines suck all of the good out of us.
Then they throw us off to the side but keep us around so later they can recycle us and get another nickel out of us.

Had that revelation this morning and wanted to share.


    Sharing here is the best thing you can do. Keep doing this, and you will create a trail. Looking back on the trail, can show you progress, with your recovery... .Chances pretty good, you were a willing participant, I was. i relate to the feeling, of being sucked up, and discarded... .later realized, it was alot more complicated, and even learned it was a blessing that she left. She may or may not want to recycle. Do you want her to?

[vortex of confusion]

When I read the thread title, my first thought was, "Yep, they shake us and shake us and shake us and shake us and then wonder why we explode all over the place."

[jonmnemonic]

When I read the thread title, my first thought was, "Yep, they shake us and shake us and shake us and shake us and then wonder why we explode all over the place."

LOL that's awesome!

[ACObound]

When I read the thread title, my first thought was, "Yep, they shake us and shake us and shake us and shake us and then wonder why we explode all over the place."

I'm with  jonmnemonic... .this is great, well said and soo true.    Made me laugh out loud and boy did I need that today.  Thank!