Is an admission truthful? Trying really hard to maintain no contact.

[sadandbroken]

Is admission really truthful from someone with BPD?I was dating a guy for a year and broke up with him 2 weeks ago after he admitted to throwing a temper tantrum at his home.I had no idea he had this disorder.He hid it for a year and led me to believe he was prince charming.After I broke up with him he admitted to having BPD.He told me he never felt good enough for me and that I deserved someone better.He said he had stopped seeing his therapist for a year and a half because he thought he was better. He has not attempted to contact me at all since he said this.Do you think he honestly felt this way or is it more lies. Im so confused.Its his birthday today and I'm trying really hard to not message him wishing him a happy birthday. Im scared of more rejection.Also there is no way to completely cut contact because he is the leader at an organization that my son attends weekly.I keep wondering how a whole year could go by with out his disorder coming out.I feel wrecked.

[Invictus01]

Do yourself a favor - walk away. Even if it kills you inside - walk and don't look back. You don't even have to guess - he has been diagnosed with a personality disorder.

When my "love of my life" princess ended up getting me into a psychiatrist office because I thought I was going nuts while trying to deal with the way I was discarded, at the end of the consultation, the psychiatrist told me - "I know it is tough to see it this way right now, and I bet you have already hear this, but she really did you a favor. I deal with people who went through years of relationships with personality disordered people and they end up being completely emotionally destroyed"

Stick around here. Learn as much as you can about personality disorders. Vent here. Yell here. Scream here. And while you do all that - walk the other direction.

[sadandbroken]

Thank you for the advice.I have read a lot on this site and I am fortunate to have not witnessed the up front abuse.We never had one argument in a year of dating.I feel like this is all a dream at times.He is very functional in appearance.It hurts to see him able to put on a front for everyone and somehow I feel like Im in the same category as his mother who abused him as a child.I understand he has also stopped contact because he knows I am aware of his disorder and the youth based organization that I met him through and that he leads has no idea he suffers from this disorder.I hate this unresolved feeling and yet everything I have read is saying good luck on that.

[enlighten me]

Hi sadandbroken

I think that what your ex said sounds honest. All people are different and just because someone has BPD doesn't mean they don't have moments of clarity and self reflection. Its hard but not everything said and done is controlled by the disorder. It doesn't mean though that because he has had one moment of honesty that he is now cured. My ex wife would have honest moments then run back inside herself. Especially when she was feeling more confident and had enablers.

My ex wife was also a waif type. We never argued in 14 years together. Instead of arguing she would bottle it up. She could keep her mask on whereas my exgf wasn't capable of keeping hers on and she would erupt. The difference between my two exs was my ex wife wasn't a very confident person and my exgf was over confident.

I think what your ex told you is more resolution than most of us here get. The more you read and understand then the more you will realise that what you got is pretty huge.

EM