Hi truthdevotee. Can you elaborate on what you have found this forum to stop walking on eggshells? I too find myself walking on them on a daily basis. Thanks.
Hi MSUSpartan
Sorry for my delay responding.
Two weeks ago or so, I found the Borderline & Eggshells books and came to this forum. Before that, I didn't even know what BDP is, and I've struggled in a relationship with a woman with BDP for several years.
What I've found is certainty that the patterns that are described in the books and on this forum, are exactly what I've experienced. Reading people's shares here is like reading about my own life.
Through all of this, I'm obtaining a new level of understanding about BDP and why things have been so hard for so many years. By sharing my experiences here and all the wonderful people sharing their insights and solutions in return, I'm finally... for the first time for so so long... regaining some level of freedom. What this comes down to for me is making personal choices according to my real feelings and values. It can be as simple as feeling tired at 2130 and telling my pwBDP that it's time for me to go to bed. It's as simple as making that statement to my pwBDP and simply doing it, no matter if she blames, criticizes or complains about it.
Really, the core formula is:
Freedom = Clarity about BDP + listening to what I feel, need, want and value, and honoring it
Clarity about BDP is really just learning what's going on for my pwBDP, seeing the patterns of BDP, and not being controlled by those patterns
