Stoic: What if you had done everything perfectly and she still left you?
What if you did it right until she continuously pushed you until you finally messed up ONCE?
This is my thought process, the point is, no matter what you did, she still would've made you out to be the bad guy because you're old news.
You could have been perfect but in her eyes you'd be stale and boring.
You never would of won and it's only a matter of time until the rinse repeat cycle starts again with someone anew.
These people are the ones who need to inspect their inner self and work on who they are to grow and change, which they ultimately can not do:as quoted from my ex:"I can not change who I am and what makes me unhappy". Sad their inability to change.
She doesn't even know what makes her unhappy either as that story constantly changed. Impossible to please, they are just looking for a way out by devaluing you.
I hear what you are saying... there are some mistakes I made in this rs... . but a healthier partner would have discussed things with me... . maybe been angry for a little, and then genuinely forgiven me. This type of normal conflict resolution was absent in my relationship... .
I found out she had a whole barrage of empirical weaponry to use against me. She remembered every little "imperfection" of mine and then threw it in my face when she painted me black... .
I agree that she would rather just find someone new who doesn't know about her baggage, and she can trick them for a while... . It just sucks when you have been so forgiving to someone with so many issues, and they couldn't forgive you for small things, if their life dependened on it. Authentic apology and forgiveness... . seem completely foreign to her.
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships... . i guess the point is that healthier couples take care of conflicts and hurt feelings in a different way. If you let these conflicts pile up... . they eat away at the relationship and the people involved.
Therefore, in my current and future relationships I aim to handle conflict resolution in a completely different manner. If anything, this rs has taught me how to validate my partner's emotions, how to seek understanding for my own emotions, and how to be more open and vulnerable... . the point is i need to find a partner that won't stab me in the back when i expose my weaknesses.
In anyone else's opinions should you ever expose weakness to a romantic partner(over time, once theyve earned some trust)? Isn't this the pathway to true intimacy? To let yourself be vulnerable? I mean i know this will be a struggle for me going forward, but I read somewhere that strong men don't reveal weakness in business, friendships, rs... . because almost everybody takes advantage of the weaknesses of others... . even subconsciously.
What do you think about this suzn, afterdeath?
I have definitely seen how being super open with my faults and weaknessess has hurt me in business, friendships, and rs... . once you tell someone something about you, this can really kick down their respect for you if they are shallow and not self-aware, not willing to admit that they have faults and weaknesses. This is exactly how my mom is.