Hey vitalsign0,
Welcome. You'll find many people here with similar stories.
First of all, sorry about the sudden break up and the crap you're going through right now because of it. I don't know your entire story, and mine is a little different just as everyone else's is, but many of us have some common bits.
I met my now ex-gf a year ago and we hit it off right away. The conversations were endless. We seemed to agree on everything. She praised my intelligence. ... Things moved pretty fast... There were frequent text messages throughout the day and usually at least 2 phone calls a day just to chat. It was wonderful.
Absolutely the same for me, and for many others here. My ex and I were texting literally the entire day, from morning to night. We would talk on the phone for hours on end, night after night. We became each other's main focus each day, and I thought of little else.
Then one day the contact stopped again. I didn't hear from her for a couple days. Every text I sent was replied to with a brief word or two.
There are different versions of this people have experienced. I've lived it, where my texts and calls suddenly started being ignored, because she had decided that it was over, because I had asked her for 2 days of space after she cheated on me and tried to get me back.
She also starting saying things like I never supported her enough when she was having problems with her daughter, that I wasn't taking getting in shape seriously, etc.
Do you think this is true? I'm gonna make a confident guess that it's not true. I've been accused of not doing enough, of not loving her, of not supporting her enough. Many of us have. My ex wanted all the love and support, I gave her as much as I could, it was never enough and she reduced all my efforts down to nothing many times. As a person, all of my existence was boiled down to a few mischaracterisation she made of me. Any flaws started defining me as a man in a relationship, erasing anything else I would provide. Meanwhile she herself would have failed by the strict and sometimes changing standards she would set on me.
This came out of nowhere. There were no discussions. She never brought up anything that was bothering her. The day before she went silent was all I love yous and emojiis. The last couple of texts we had she told me talking to me pisses her off, she threw stuff in my face, accused me of belittling her and not putting in any effort and told me not to text her again.
The suddenness of it all is something you'll often read about here. If she has BPD traits, she bases herself entirely on the feelings she has at the moment. Feelings are king for a pwBPD, and for HER own reasons, her feelings were that she should get out of the relationship. It's not about the real reasons she gave you, at least not at surface value. It was about what was going on internal to her, projected on to you as failures you had apparently made (and weren't even warned about).
My ex and I have been broken up for a year, I had been trying to get her back. In December, I was with her, and even though she was pushing back on the relationship idea at the time, telling me several times that she was not attracted to me anymore emotionally or physically, she one night crawled into my bed, started kissing me passionately, saying I love you, that she just wanted to lay next to me and have sex all night. Two days later, I was back to being called a source of anxiety in her life and that we can't be together, because of unreasonable expecations. Things would change very quickly with her
