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Author Topic: I think I will going crazy please help  (Read 382 times)
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 9


« on: February 14, 2022, 05:54:35 PM »

i was in a relationship with bpd bf everything was going well he was a sweet and a cute person, he was interested and say that he love's me and woun't leave me or giving up on me he looks like he really loved me. but he had a law feeling and down feeling sometimes he dont feel anything and just want to go and that makes him depression.
because he didn't want to lose me he just was feeling scary why this happening to him again!
he felled empty, and a failure, felled like he dont belong to anyplace, problem with his family, sometime he hates his friends and start remembering about his trauma about what he lived in his childhood and about his old relationship that broke his heart because she left him after years.
i didn't understand what happened at first i didn't know that he has a bpd.

so when that happend i wanted to leave him cause i didnt know what's going! and when i wanted to breakup he star crying he was a fraid from losing me! and i couldnt go cause i really loves him
but after all of that he started feeling bad from everything! he was saying i'm not happy i should leave alone not with my family i don't know if u are the person i search for i dont know if this is the right place! but after that he wanted to break up with me!
and that shocked me!
he told me that he cant take it any more and he shouldn't be in a relationship.
and u most know that i was happy with u but i shouldnt be in a relationship i feel like i'm not ready! and if i choosed my heart i was now with u but i most choosing my mind i know that i'm the problem and i should start do a therapy. u know how much i loved u i want to love u more that this but i couldnt because what i'm.then something happend his old gf called him she didnt want to come back but she told him why she broke up with him! and that's makes him feel so deprission.
i tried to make him come back but he didnt want that and said to me that he was in a relationship that every month the things of feeling or no feeling was happend and then after years this thing goin worst i dont want to be again in this because of that i dont want being in a relationship.okay after that i know it that he had a bpd!
i asked him to think again and he was like i promise u i will think and he was so nice then and
 he told me that there is thing i should know about him if we return being in relationship or not cause this thing will happen again (i think he wanted to tell that he had bpd cause i didnt tell him that i know).

but when we meted he was a hurtful person he told me that's the best thing i did to myself is that I choices to not being in a relationship and that's makes me start working on myself and he didnt regretted. that's broke my heart i bagged him to stay but he didnt want, he told me you are selfish i want to be alone because when i become in a relationship i cant do anything he told me that u most understand if u wouldn't i will block u!

after he left i send him a message
I wrote:
okay now u should know that i get it i understand
and i wished him to find himself like he wanted
this was the last chance and now ended.
I'm sorry that I loved you that much
i will go cause i cant give u anything anymore
and I wont send u anything again.

i blocked him after this message and I didn't wait his replay
but after a week i canceled the block but i didnt send him anything and he didn't too.
its been 3.5 weeks no contact

I really love him and I know that he is a nice person I wish he could understand that I want to help him and not being just in a relationship the importent thing that I wanted being with him.

 any advice please
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Cat Familiar
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 7488



« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2022, 09:37:27 PM »

It’s so easy with BPD partners to get into Fear Obligation and Guilt (FOG).  https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog

These are very difficult relationships and not to be entered into without a lot of thought, since as they progress, often they get even more difficult, especially when children are involved.

People with BPD can be very enticing partners at the beginning, because they are trying so hard to win our affection. Unfortunately this phase doesn’t seem to last very long.
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