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BPDFamily.com
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Topic: FLASH BACK (Read 381 times)
Undone123
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 250
FLASH BACK
«
on:
December 09, 2013, 07:54:39 PM »
My ex girlfriends parents put this website on their computer and left it on in my presence... .her mum did like a look at me, and then a look at the computer screen. I am pretty sure it was this one... .It definitely had "borederline personality disorder in the title"... .and I thought "that's weird must be for her dad" (as he has some communication problems)... .I've literally just woken up from a dream of it - this happened - it was a warm summers day - I had to post this.
I feel like I have brain damage... .why am i not detached yet man! I've dated a couple of girls for fun, and still crave her from time to time. Specially if I've been out partying!
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TakingWingAtLast
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: Moved out for good on Nov. 16, 2013.
Posts: 229
Re: FLASH BACK
«
Reply #1 on:
December 09, 2013, 11:21:41 PM »
Undone,
Crazy dream man!
There's always something to remind you of the good times that kept you coming back. Keep remembering the bad times too to help you detach. It's a process of course. How long have you been separated?
d
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Undone123
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 250
Re: FLASH BACK
«
Reply #2 on:
December 10, 2013, 06:14:05 AM »
Quote from: TakingWingAtLast on December 09, 2013, 11:21:41 PM
Undone,
Crazy dream man!
There's always something to remind you of the good times that kept you coming back. Keep remembering the bad times too to help you detach. It's a process of course. How long have you been separated?
d
9 months - I think I've got back a stage... .Need to remember the bad deffo
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TakingWingAtLast
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: Moved out for good on Nov. 16, 2013.
Posts: 229
Re: FLASH BACK
«
Reply #3 on:
December 10, 2013, 06:43:44 AM »
Undone,
Nine months! Congrats on that length of time!
This feeling of wanting to reattach is perfectly understandable. We all do that to some degree or another until we get to acceptance. You are pretty close, I'd say, so let time finish it off.
For me, I stick my head into the pain every chance. Every text she sends, every painted black that I hear, every time I feel down, I FEEL it and it hurts. And I cry and I get angry. I don't bargain and I don't deny much. And I get better every time. Just a little bit stronger each time I think about it all. I will do this as much as I can take. Then I distract myself with a phone call or get on here to blog.
Just on the right side of my screen it says: Attachment leads to suffering, detachment leads to freedom. That sums it up, I think!
Be well! You've come a long ways!
D
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Undone123
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 250
Re: FLASH BACK
«
Reply #4 on:
December 10, 2013, 08:40:56 AM »
Quote from: TakingWingAtLast on December 10, 2013, 06:43:44 AM
Undone,
Nine months! Congrats on that length of time!
This feeling of wanting to reattach is perfectly understandable. We all do that to some degree or another until we get to acceptance. You are pretty close, I'd say, so let time finish it off.
For me, I stick my head into the pain every chance. Every text she sends, every painted black that I hear, every time I feel down, I FEEL it and it hurts. And I cry and I get angry. I don't bargain and I don't deny much. And I get better every time. Just a little bit stronger each time I think about it all. I will do this as much as I can take. Then I distract myself with a phone call or get on here to blog.u
Just on the right side of my screen it says: Attachment leads to suffering, detachment leads to freedom. That sums it up, I think!
Be well! You've come a long ways!
D
I'm scared - my ex I'm sure had flings after me. I'm almost 100% certain immediately after me... .The replacement was posting statuses that looked as If they where to target me... .However I think she is lining up a more permanent one, a proper relationship in the BPD sense... .
Im scared of myself! I know it's going to hurt a lot
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TakingWingAtLast
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: Moved out for good on Nov. 16, 2013.
Posts: 229
Re: FLASH BACK
«
Reply #5 on:
December 10, 2013, 11:58:07 AM »
Undone,
I get that the ex is out having fun, presumably. What is really happening is that the abandonment is driving her behavior. Including looking for a permanent replacement. It has nothing to so with you! My ex is not only having such flings immediately after an 8 year r/s broke up, but she sends me text messages letting me know how much better they are. How happy she is. How much more money they have. How she is turning away men left and right. I'm waiting for the how much better in bed texts, in fact.
Every message you get, every blog you post, every depressed painful thought you have in your head, they are all opportunities! Opportunities to feel what you MUST feel in order to heal!
You can do this. You have the strength. Take good care of yourself and be healthy.
We are here for you as you do this. So blog on!
Yours,
D
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