Anxiety Meds for Caretakers

[mitten]

The one thing about this medicine though is that it took quite awhile for me to really notice a difference from taking it - I’d say about 4 months

Was it like a flip was switched when you noticed it working, or was it super gradual and noticed starting to get better?  Just wondering if I should continue on longer or try something else now.  Feels a little like wasting time if I'm not seeing improvements after 2 months, but I want to give it a fair shot.  Thought about going up in dose to maybe 125 as well to really help rule it out. 

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[Chief Drizzt]

I wouldn’t say it was like a flipped switch - however it was noticeable to me pretty quickly once it started working.  I’d stay with it for another month or two if I were you.  I don’t want to say this medicine has been some kind of miracle drug - but it has helped me to keep my emotions in check when things start to get tense with my wife. 

[Smedley Butler]

back in 2015, LONG before I even knew what BPD was, my wife convinced me (by enlisting my father to assist) that I was clinically depressed, and that must be the issue with my marriage.  I went to see a psychiatrist who told me, almost on no uncertain terms, that he did not believe I was clinically depressed.  I practically begged him to put me on anti-depressants, because I was brainwashed into thinking that I really was the one with the problem.  he finally agreed to put me on Effexor, which he said would help with some of my emotional swings and coping abilities.  i took Effexor for eight years, and I cant say that I think it did one single thing for me.  i weaned myself off of it about four months ago and I've never felt better.  my therapy is 1) running, 2) weights, 3) jiu jitsu, and 4) my kids. 

side note - my wife has weaponized my decision to get off Effexor, and uses it against me...i.e. blaming me for whatever negative feeling she is having that day, and saying it's only her response to my actions, which are only because I got off Effexor.  to which i respond - then why were we having these same stupid fights when i was ON it?

[outhere]

I just wanted to say that I've been taking Ashwagandha for a couple of months (300mg twice a day) and feel like it might be helping me keep my cool when my wife aggravates me with her BPD.  In general I feel a bit more "together" but of course it's so hard to know if it's because of that or the million other factors involved.  Anyway, it was cheap from an online Indian grocer and doesn't seem to be doing harm, and scientific studies show its efficacy so...

[mitten]

I just wanted to say that I've been taking Ashwagandha for a couple of months (300mg twice a day) and feel like it might be helping me keep my cool when my wife aggravates me with her BPD.

I'm interested in trying it too!  But wanted to change one thing at a time as I started Zoloft so I could tell if it was working or not.  So far it's not.  

[mitten]

I wouldn’t say it was like a flipped switch - however it was noticeable to me pretty quickly once it started working.  I’d stay with it for another month or two if I were you.  I don’t want to say this medicine has been some kind of miracle drug - but it has helped me to keep my emotions in check when things start to get tense with my wife. 

Good to know Chief!  I figured if I gave it a good 2 months that was long enough (at 100 mg) but since I'm not having any side effect maybe I should continue or even up my dose before trying something else, just to rule it out. 

[mitten]

i took Effexor for eight years, and I cant say that I think it did one single thing for me.  i weaned myself off of it about four months ago and I've never felt better.  my therapy is 1) running, 2) weights, 3) jiu jitsu, and 4) my kids. 

It's funny you should mention Effexor!  My physician just prescribed it to me as the next medicine to try because Zoloft didn't seen to help at all.  I'm super reluctant to switch to it because I heard that the withdrawals are terrible! Were they bad for you?  On the flip side I heard it can help with ADHD, which I have. 

[Smedley Butler]

Withdrawal wasn't bad for me. I did it slowly over about three months. Only the first week or so felt kinda weird.

[mitten]

I take lexapro for anxiety. Zoloft never worked for me.

Just went up to 20 mg last month. It is helping some, but I find that I am still dealing with anxiety, it’s just a little easier to function with it.

Hey, just checking in to see how 20mg of Lexapro was working for you?  Just an update- I just did about 6 months of Zoloft and noticed ZERO improvement in my anxiety.  Fortunately I didn't have any side effects besides dry mouth.  I went all the way up to 150 mg and now I've tapered back down to 50 mg.  I'm thinking about trying Lexapro to see if that works. 

[Cat Familiar]

Haven’t read through the thread, but assume most folks are mentioning pharmaceuticals. I think I’ve had chronic anxiety since childhood, and having multiple pwBPD in my life since then, it seems like my nervous system has always been racing, but not until recently did I notice this. Anxiety had become my ambient state.

I finally realized how wound up I’ve been. Recent counseling since my husband’s stroke has awakened me to some things…

Here are some herbal alternatives I’ve tried that have lessened my anxiety: a supplement containing Holy Basil, Ashwagandha, Cordyceps, and Bacopa taken twice daily has dialed up the calm.

Also in the evening, I’ve been using gummies (I live in a state where cannabis is legal) with a combination of THC and CBD, or CBG. (CBN helps with sleeping.) I live in a state where cannabis is legal. Then I stretch, do yoga, dance, work out, and I can feel the anxiety melting away. (I don’t do these gummies any time I need to drive or use power tools. It’s strictly for relaxation. I find THC too intense these days, so when either CBG or CBN is added, it really moderates it. Also I’m a lightweight now. Anything over 5 mg of THC is way too much. One or 2 mg is barely noticeable, and enhances the calm feeling.)

[mitten]

Thanks Cat for sharing some of the methods that work for you.  Sorry to hear about your husband's stroke... I can see how that would create a lot of additional stress and anxiety on top of the BPD. 

Would you ever consider something like Zoloft or Lexapro?  I'll be starting Lexapro tomorrow so I'll keep everyone updated on how it goes!  I don't want to change too many things at once because I want to know what works- but the alternative supplements members have mentioned will be a next step after giving Lexapro a shot. 

[Cat Familiar]

Thanks Cat for sharing some of the methods that work for you.  Sorry to hear about your husband's stroke... I can see how that would create a lot of additional stress and anxiety on top of the BPD. 

Would you ever consider something like Zoloft or Lexapro? 

Thanks Mitten. Yes, having a BPD spouse who is dealing with significant health issues adds a new complexity. Making lemonade out of lemons, I’ve significantly strengthened my boundaries. We are fortunate in that we can afford home health care several hours a week, so I have a lot more *me* time. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to deal with this all on my shoulders.

As far as pharmaceuticals, I don’t take any and plan not to. I’ve done a deep dive into my genetic profile and micronutrients and found out what my body doesn’t make or utilize and so far, supplementing that has been all that I need to keep my anxiety at bay most of the time. Yes, when things get crazy, I now get anxious like a *normal person* and I’m ok with that. It goes away quickly once the crisis subsides.