Cat fishing girlfriend and she has fallen for it

[patrick1991]

So I had my suspensions after 6 weeks of her going off the grid and not knowing what the flip is happening so I decided to catfish her and straight the way she took the bait. I've been flirting with her and she already wants to meet for sex and she has of course painted me (her ex black) when we never had a single argument ever. I don't know how to play it now from here. Do I reveal my indentity or do I keep my dignity in tact and she doesn't need to know it was me but I can just move on now and know what a sick and twisted person she is?

[once removed]

this is after previously sending her a closure letter?

patrick1991, is any of this helping you detach?

[jammit123]

I've been following your story and just wanted to say that I'm sorry it turned out this way for you.  I'm sure you're shocked and devastated by her taking your "bait".  Not much else to say other than I'm sorry and we're all here for you.  It's a long journey letting go of someone you truly love, especially after they turn out to not be the person you thought they were.  It stings like hell but you'll get through it.

[patrick1991]

It's the biggest help yet because I see clearly now how much of a horrible and sick person she is. I don't want anything to do with her ever again

[Heldfast]

Let her go and keep your dignity intact. She wants to be history, let her be such. I hope you get over her quickly and find happiness with yourself and another who truly values you.

[once removed]

youre understandably hurting. i found it very difficult to cope in the aftermath of my relationship and i understand the silence from the other end has been very painful for you.

you wrote this twenty four hours ago: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=304702.0

im not sure that these methods of coping arent compounding your situation and your pain. right now, i encourage you to stop with cat fishing, and contact in general, take a breather from focusing on this person to the extent you can, and work to get to a more grounded place. its much easier to decide where we want to go when we are in that place.

[jammit123]

I agree with Heldfast.  Don't reveal who you are and just drop out of the picture and heal.  If you give you're ID it will lead to WWIII and more pain.

Give yourself time to get over the shock and move forward from there. 

[patrick1991]

thanks for all your support and advice guys. I have since deleted the account and left her out to dry like she did to me. I kept my dignity in tact and i won't ever reveal to her what i have found out tonight. Its kind of comforting knowing what she was like all along and how she portrayed herself to me was an act. I'm actually so relieved by the whole situation, it honestly feels a big weight off my shoulders and that i can move on now. I'm still hurting, but just because of the good times we shared together were so great but i know it will pass eventually

[Heldfast]

I don't know you, but I'm feeling for you. You did the right thing. That's as good a first step on the path to getting clear of her as any. Keep taking steps. They may not all be forward (and many of mine were in circles), but you get there.

[SuperJew82]

Seriously dude, move on. This isn't healthy at all. You should be moving forwards not backward. I get that validation feels good sometimes, but take that effort you put into this and do something that will make you happier.

[Confused108]

I'm sorry Patrick you had to go thru this crap like the rest of us. But at least now
You know what your dealing with. I did a similar thing with my ex in the middle of our relationship.  My ex was my childhood/teen first love etc. we were friends for 2 years before becoming involved at 14yo. I won't go into details but she found me in Facebook and I had a friend send her a hey how are you blah blah message. Well the only good thing out of it was that she did tell me about he message. But the red flag for me was why didn't she block the person.? So I really feel my ex loves the attention and would do anything to get it. Consider yourself lucky and there is a person out there for you. A normal healthy woman. Not these sick and twisted individuals who will always be like this!

[patrick1991]

I'm so relieved i eventually found out the truth about her. I have to admit it wasn't a conventional method to find out what she she like, but when i did it was so satisfying and confirmed everything you read on these boards that they are compulsive lairs and master manipulators. I obviously miss her to some degree, but i know in my heart of hearts what a sick, twisted person she is. The horrendous stuff she was telling a complete stranger about me (the catfish so me ) she painted me out to be the most hateful man in history. I do live in fear though that once she decides the silent treatment is up and paints me white again she will come back and think i want know a thing. Little does she know though! i've blocked her on everything but she has my address so could easily turn up or send me mail.

The one thing that scares me most of all is dating again because i'm terrified she will find out somehow and try and screw it up for me with a smear campaign. 

[Confused108]

I'm so relieved i eventually found out the truth about her. I have to admit it wasn't a conventional method to find out what she she like, but when i did it was so satisfying and confirmed everything you read on these boards that they are compulsive lairs and master manipulators. I obviously miss her to some degree, but i know in my heart of hearts what a sick, twisted person she is. The horrendous stuff she was telling a complete stranger about me (the catfish so me ) she painted me out to be the most hateful man in history. I do live in fear though that once she decides the silent treatment is up and paints me white again she will come back and think i want know a thing. Little does she know though! i've blocked her on everything but she has my address so could easily turn up or send me mail.

The one thing that scares me most of all is dating again because i'm terrified she will find out somehow and try and screw it up for me with a smear campaign.  

just watch your back. Because they tend to stalk etc after they discard us.  Now  not every BPD person is the same or acts the same way. Mine I know for a fact  stalked me on Facebook under different accounts. Contacted my now ex wife thinking we were still together! She told her that if I was with my ex wife and still married I should back off from her! I was sending my ex articles about BPD after she dumped me and I found out what she was. As a friend from childhood I wanted to help her. And that's what she did. So instead of contacting me to say oh thanks I'll look into it etc or leave me alone or just block me no she contacts my ex wife. Thinking we were still married even though I told her we were getting divorced. Then I got Fake Facebook messages with the name "Gift Love" and their profile pic said "Heart Injured" ! And in the background there was a red flat line. Now if that's NOT Sick I don't know what is. You dump me and u send this sh*t? So yeas watch yourself!