What I say, do the opposite

[Marvis]

I got told quite a few confusing and utterly terrible things today by my uBPDbf.  First of which I don't care about him because I "let him sit in a room for days by himself" then I get told that whatever he says to do he wants me to do the complete opposite.  OK so I shouldn't let you be by yourself in a room for days but I should? Huh? Oh our relationship is all fake, I'm faking it, he's faking it, we're playing house for everyone else. I don't fake things, I told him this, he says everything he does is faking it. Just the constant accusations of me not caring about him is so heartbreaking.  I can't let him see me cry but I cant stop.

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[enlighten me]

Its just so confusing.

I realise when they throw things at us they are normally projecting. Such as you always runaway means they always runaway.

I just wish I could have understood what it was my exgf really wanted. Then again sometimes I don't think I could have done the opposite as I was told that I needed to get the house finished and spend time with her which wasn't physically possible to do.

My thoughts are that they change what they want from one moment to the next so you just cant keep up. What they truly want deep down is always kept hidden.

[MissyM]

I got told quite a few confusing and utterly terrible things today by my uBPDbf.  First of which I don't care about him because I "let him sit in a room for days by himself" then I get told that whatever he says to do he wants me to do the complete opposite.  OK so I shouldn't let you be by yourself in a room for days but I should? Huh? Oh our relationship is all fake, I'm faking it, he's faking it, we're playing house for everyone else. I don't fake things, I told him this, he says everything he does is faking it. Just the constant accusations of me not caring about him is so heartbreaking.  I can't let him see me cry but I cant stop.

It is exhausting.  Projecting onto us their emotional state is confusing.  He is now telling you he wants you to do the opposite of what he says but will get upset if you do that, also.  BPDs really wants you to fix their emotional problems but if you try you will be controlling.   In their minds, it has to be something someone else is doing that is causing them upset because they cannot recognize that they are causing their own problems. 

[Marvis]

I got told quite a few confusing and utterly terrible things today by my uBPDbf.  First of which I don't care about him because I "let him sit in a room for days by himself" then I get told that whatever he says to do he wants me to do the complete opposite.  OK so I shouldn't let you be by yourself in a room for days but I should? Huh? Oh our relationship is all fake, I'm faking it, he's faking it, we're playing house for everyone else. I don't fake things, I told him this, he says everything he does is faking it. Just the constant accusations of me not caring about him is so heartbreaking.  I can't let him see me cry but I cant stop.

It is exhausting.  Projecting onto us their emotional state is confusing.  He is now telling you he wants you to do the opposite of what he says but will get upset if you do that, also.  BPDs really wants you to fix their emotional problems but if you try you will be controlling.   In their minds, it has to be something someone else is doing that is causing them upset because they cannot recognize that they are causing their own problems. 

The last time I went in to "his room" (aka our bedroom that I can't go anywhere near) to try to get him out of his turtle shell, I got screamed at, things thrown at the door, and the cat (who is the most innocent of bystanders and is 14 years old) got thrown outside. He can't understand why I refuse to even walk down the hallway when he's barricaded himself away. Maybe when his tantrum is over I can explain it to him but right now he's far from rational and everything is my fault. I can't get over the guilty feelings I have. He's successfully made me feel bad for absolutely nothing.  I love him so much but I hate this illness and the fact that it takes away every amazing thing about him and replaces it with crap.  So much more than frustrating,  frustrating is putting it mildly