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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
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Ah, the mysterious "Friend Request"
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Topic: Ah, the mysterious "Friend Request" (Read 357 times)
Pretty Woman
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1683
The Greatest Love is the Love You Give Yourself
Ah, the mysterious "Friend Request"
«
on:
July 20, 2018, 02:41:07 PM »
Hi All!
I know it's been awhile since I last checked in. Things have been pretty insane lately... .both my father and my uncle (his brother) are dying, work has blown up, and things in general have left me feeling like I'm in a "mid-life crisis".
Surprisingly, I am handling all this the best I can, I don't have time to grieve one thing or another... .however recently something triggered me.
About three weeks ago I got a FB friend request from my ex's mother. Now, mind you, my ex's mother and I were never FB friends. I work with my ex's sister and to keep the peace, her mother would not friend me during our four year relationship.
After our break up, I changed my profile to omit my last name. It's just my first and middle. My ex's mother is pushing 80, I personally don't think she ever knew my last name to be honest. She was never vested in us succeeding.
Anyways, I looked into it a bit, and from her public posts, it appears her original account was hacked and my ex was "helping" her set up a new one. All her contacts are legit, it is her actual account.
My gut instinct says my ex "friended" me off her mother's account, to see how I would react.
I sat on it a few days, wasn't going to do anything... .and eventually declined it.
Through the grapevine I know my ex just moved into a .5M home with her fiancée two towns away. She has never attempted to reach out, but she has reached out to mutual friends who dismissed her when she left me. She still slanders me and still blames me for everything.
While I am much further than I was three years ago, I struggle with the hatred part of the equation. I know she is ill but even in my worst relationships I don't feel any adamosity twords my ex's and they are the exactly the same towards me. It's terrible, but a part of me wishes she had another person to hate on. Three years is a long time.
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EdR
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Posts: 435
Re: Ah, the mysterious "Friend Request"
«
Reply #1 on:
July 20, 2018, 03:08:10 PM »
Hi Pretty Woman,
Just a thought... it could be that your e-mail or phone number was in the list of contacts of the mother of your ex. When creating a FB account one of the first questions is whether or not FB may use this contact list to add friends. Could something like that have happened?
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