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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
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Author Topic: Do they adopt the personality of new guy?  (Read 1470 times)
Waifed
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1026



« Reply #30 on: October 23, 2013, 01:40:32 PM »

detaching involves you processing your past more than processing and picking apart the actions of your ex.

Yes, and detaching is a process.  Those of us enmeshed with a BPD have usually been blamed for everything for a long time.  Once the fog clears and we get educated and a little grounded, turns out plenty of the strife was their fault, and it's natural, and healthy, to slam them for a while, especially to supportive people.

And in a healthy and complete detachment that is a phase that ends, and we start looking at our part, and eventually all we're looking at is our part, as we grow and heal.  It's not linear either; I don't think about my BPD ex very much anymore, but the other day I was missing her massively for a while.  Where did that come from?  Digging... .

bold...

I hate those moments.  It is usually because I don't know how long they will last. 
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Ironmanrises
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1774


« Reply #31 on: October 23, 2013, 01:44:36 PM »

Escaped... .

Eerie... .

How strikingly similar... .

The behavior is... .

Right... ?
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Ironmanrises
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1774


« Reply #32 on: October 23, 2013, 01:52:47 PM »

Olio... .

Welcome.

Sharing is caring.

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Escaped 30.Sept.2013
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Posts: 146


« Reply #33 on: October 23, 2013, 02:15:02 PM »

Escaped... .

Eerie... .

How strikingly similar... .

The behavior is... .

Right... ?

In this case, it's striking me like a ton of bricks how my REPLACEMENT's behaviour also fits, and on a quick check on Narcissistic PD, it seems my ex-bf may now have got himself into the one relationship which will really seriously result in HIM being left in a horrific state... .

Still not tempted to contact him, but... .well... .ooph! I feel sorry for anyone who gets into the clutches of an NPD, who actually DOES do the hurting deliberately and knowingly and with malice... .and when the NPD's partner is a BPD who already carries pathological shame... .

Jesus.
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Ironmanrises
********
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1774


« Reply #34 on: October 23, 2013, 02:31:39 PM »

Escaped... .

When that relationship... .

Falters... .

And it will... .

Do not be surprised... .

If he attempts... .

To re engage you... .

And tells you... .

"I miss the good times... .

With you... ."... .

And what not.

Especially... .

If your ex... .

Experiences abandonment.

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