Had first conversation with her Post-breakup, glad i did.

[Jay08]

   So as i stated in an earlier thread, she had a dvd of mine which i was still getting charged for. Looking at my bank statement made me angry when i seen she did not put it in a postal box, so i messaged her via fb and asked her if shes not going to put it in the postbox can i pick it up real quick.

She surprisingly agreed.

Went over there, and was very shocked when she came up to me in a subtle manner. Was very polite about it. Well, i knew she would try to talk to me about other things, and she did. I simply got it back, joked about the rip in the cover and dismissed her side convo, told her to take care of herself and left.

Well she then messaged me on facebook. Was it a recycle attempt? I believe so, big shocker. She told me i looked good and wished i couldve stayed longer. Didn't want her to paint me black again or get upset so i replied that im not ready to have those kind of conversations with her and maybe in the future we can maintain a friendship. More responses from her about how she got the butterflys when i pulled up, how maybe the feelings will go away soon. Told her all we can do in the future is be friends, ignored that and told me she wishes i woudlve stayed.

Haha, obvious recycle. Was i tempted to go back? Yes, im not going to lie. I knew if i went back we'd end up hanging out, drinking a few beers and having amazing sex. Then i realized i cant keep my emotions in check and i would fall right back into the loop, so i ended the conversation.

Its been 4 days and luckily she has not contacted me since, but after that engagement i felt so much better. I could tell she was hurt, or maybe not hurt is what they feel about their decisions, but i could tell something was wrong. Possibly her new relationship is not what she thought, as my sisters boyfriend knows the guy shes seeing and says he is married and is messing around with other women.

Listening to her compliment me and tell me those things actually helped me heal a little. I know it was a recycle attempt and she probably didnt mean them, but i know she tried for a reason, and to be able to stand my ground and end the conversation gave me my sense of power back. Couldnt be happier right now

[just me.]

I'd say take your happiness and run.  pwBPD's seem to give almost everyone a small chance to leave with their ego in some form of repair.  It feels so good, though, that I think a lot of us get tempted to go back to the well and see if we can't find more of what we need... .  be it apology, or regret, or longing, or whatever else... .  

in my experience, it's just the same cycle (on a much smaller scale) as the relationship... .  and is, in fact, seemingly just another manifestation of push and pull.  Take your happiness, and move on.  Have that be the last time you connect.  I don't think you can hope for anything better.

[FogLight]

Good job man!  I agree with just_me, take it and run like hell.  Just be glad for yourself, for sticking to your guns like a man!  Just_me is right, judging from my own experience, I went through a similar attempt for what I can only assume to be similar reasons... .  I stood my ground, and she pulled a 180 with the hate by the next day.

Well done, and good luck on your progress!

[bpdspell]

Hey Jay,

The way you stuck to your boundaries was nothing short of awesomeness. Keep up the good work! You've passed attempt to recycle test with flying colors.

Just me is correct. I'm glad you see her actions for what they were: a weak ploy to see if she still had any power over you. Didn't work. Your happiness is within you.

Spell