Thanks everyone for being so helpful and supportive while I have been trying to figure out what to do with the r/s with my on again/off again udBPDexgf.
I will move to the detachment board and hopefully be of some assistance to the people who are hurting so much there.
I have learned a lot here and especially want to thank Newton and the others for pointing me in the direction of the staying tools. I will continue to explore and try to educate myself in those areas ... .
validation etc, as I am certain I will be involved in some way with the girl again and want to continue being better prepared.
The words "do no harm" resonate in my head when I am in contact with her and I have learned that acceptance is for me, not for her, and she doesn't have to really know.
I just don't feel the sexual attraction to this person like I had before. I don't care if she is with some other guy (no jealousy... . maybe feel sorry for any other guy). I don't really care if she says she is still in love with ex-husband or really anything she says during her sudden changes in feelings.
The big challenge for me will be the next time she is "in love' with me and turns on the super sexy charm and looks into my eyes with those huge black eyes. I almost resisted the last time in Dec. so I think I have a better chance to do so next time.
That being said it would be nice to have a friendship with strict boundaries. But I see almost no chance for her to seek out any effective therapy or help so any type of r/s is going to be the same.
My decision is just to leave her alone. We are on "off" and I am interested in meeting other women. In Dec I got what I asked for and found out more than ever that it wasn't what I wanted.
Well thank you again and I will be around here if anything changes.
