Sorry to just pop in like this...

[ImTheHusband]

But today, er... .  rather this evening has been interesting.

Short story:

-Earlier this afternoon had a rather exceptional love making session with my wife.

-Great time afterwards just normal living stuff.

-Unexpectedly had her sneak up to me later this afternoon -- startled me even -- to have her say, "I love you hit_." And even gave multiple reasons why.

-Time to settle down... .  major meltdown over something I said over the remote control, she stormed out, last words I heard, "I'm tired of you... .  " before she shut the door to the porch.

Wish I was a wealthy SOB would make it easier to move on... .  *

*not the best way to think, I know... .  

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ImTheHusband]

I just don't know how much "down" time is worth the off times.

Doesn't matter.

Tired... .  

[elemental]

I heard this a lot. "I am so tired of you."

Painful. The first times I heard it were shocking and scared me. As time goes on I realized it is inflicted in order to create distance.

Probably the intensity of the closeness wound her anxiety up and she fired off in a way that pushed you back.

[allibaba]

My husband (undiagnosed BPD) recently admitted to me that when he feels really close to me it scares him too much... .  and he has to push me away.  For me it was a rare look into the mind of a BPD.  Don't worry.  Just keep loving her.  These things always pass eventually (at least for me).

[ImTheHusband]

I heard this a lot. "I am so tired of you."

Painful. The first times I heard it were shocking and scared me. As time goes on I realized it is inflicted in order to create distance.

Probably the intensity of the closeness wound her anxiety up and she fired off in a way that pushed you back.

Honestly, it could've been "hate" or "sick" or whoknowswhat "of you... .  " I was so completely shocked... .  I was just going about business making dinner. She completely unraveled before my eyes and stormed out.

My husband (undiagnosed BPD) recently admitted to me that when he feels really close to me it scares him too much... .  and he has to push me away.  For me it was a rare look into the mind of a BPD.  Don't worry.  Just keep loving her.  These things always pass eventually (at least for me).

"pass eventually... .  "

That's the problem(s). They will come back. "Eventually" means tomorrow or a couple days from now, when she'll come back to normal. Zero conversation or acknowledgement of what happened. Guess I just have to keep sucking it up and take it as it comes.

Tired... .  

[laelle]

You can not take it personally and dont listen to it.  The best method of protecting yourself and letting her "get it all out" on her own, is to leave the drama.  Go have an ice cream sundae and a package of cookies.  Thats what I do