benny guy
So sorry to hear about your tough story with this girl and her ex! You have to deal with a lot right now, the loss of her, her blaming and hate right now.
Sounds like she has serious problems with relationships!
You are right about the message, it was private. You couldn't know that he would read it. Don't beat yourself for it. And no need to apologize IMO.
To forget her right now is perhaps not realistic.
Focusing on other things can help! And keep posting here.