Ideas to prepare her for the possibility?

[BioAdoptMom3]

Our BPD 13 y/o DD is very talented musically and athletically.  She has been playing softball since she was 4 (well t-ball then) and even played for a travel team for 2 years.  She has played all positions, but is an amazing pitcher.  Tonight she tried out for another travel team, but hasn't really played in about 6 months.  She has been nervous to try out again since she left her travel team 2 years ago. Of course with BPD and being an adoptee she has that extreme fear of rejection.  Fact is, even though she is good and they need a second pitcher as a relief pitcher, she could possibly not make the team.  Under normal circumstances that would still be a bit of a concern as her parent of course, but with this illness I am sure you all understand if she doesn't make it, it will be major!  She attends the second practice on Tuesday night to work on pitching and fielding (she did very well tonight when they worked on batting and worked out).  If she doesn't pitch well, she just may not get there.  So, any suggestions for preparing our her for this possibility and for softening the blow if she indeed doesn't make it?  I want her to develop and nurture her gifts, but on the other hand, I feel like it would be so much easier if she didn't do things like that (I know that is no way to go through life though  )!  Thanks! 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Thursday]

BAM3,

I always welcome a real-life situation in which to parent (using skills learned here) as involving my BPDSD21 in  a more  theoretical discussion often leaves her confused and perhaps even angry or defensive.

I know with our BPD kids there is a fear of their fear. I know it's real, this fear of rejection. It is true that life will be full of disappointments, so, in a way, its better to confront these moments in a "controlled" environment. Better to field these feelings with awareness rather than to be blindsided.

I recommend talking to her about it, the possibilities, before she faces the announcement. Maybe she WILL make the team. If she doesn't, there will be other chances if she so chooses. Talk about the fun parts, talk about her fears if you can get her to open up.

Good luck to your DD, I hope she gets what she wants!

Thursday

And I also wanted to comment that your pink font is really hard to read... .  too light. I highlighted the entire post which made it appear in a darker blue, if anyone else is having the same problem. I love pink though... .  

xoxo

[jellibeans]

well might sound corny but at least she tried!... .  there are many with anxiety disorders and they are afraid to try anything for fear of failing... .  you can't protect them but prepare them for the worse and hope for the best... .  

recovery plan might be looking for another team... .  always good to have a plan B in your back pocket but it should be your dd plan... .  

"worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of it's troubles, empties today of it's strength"

[JKN77]

I would talk to her. Probably say something like "I am so proud of you for trying out. I really hope you make the team, but even if you don't, you should be proud of yourself too for doing your best".

[BioAdoptMom3]

Thanks my new friends   !  I worry because she tends to be one of those (anxiety disorder is part of her diagnosis) who gives up when she feels she is good at something but doesn't do her best, make the team, etc.).  However we got the call last night!  She IS on the team  !

[jellibeans]

oh this has brighten my day... .  so very happy for your dd... .