I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...

[BioAdoptMom3]

for our children who have this disorder?  DD is 13 with depression and anxiety being controlled well with Prozac and Abilify.  She is in counseling, but not DBT as recommended because she was just diagnosed and so far we haven't found anyone who provides it and takes our insurance in our area.  Sometimes I just want to break down and cry about the fact that she is academically gifted and so musically and athletically talented, but may never be able to use her gifts to their fullest potential in society because of mental illness.  I have seen a lot of comments from other parents here as well about their beautiful, intelligent and talented children and I am sure I am not alone in my tears over that realization. How much hope really is there with this disorder?  Thanks for any encouragement you can give me   to all of you wonderful, supportive fellow BPD parents!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Yes sweety... . there is much to be hopeful for.  

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=197121.0

[twojaybirds]

Oh my I can feel your pain but be assured there is always hope.

Hope for our acceptance of who our children are not what we expected of them.

Hope for inner peace in knowing that we are good parents

Hope that we learn how to care for ourselves

Hope that our children find thier way thorugh the world as they grow into adults.

Hope that our society broadens its image on mental illness

Hope that tomorrow brings another day of hope , love and laughter in all our hearts.

[Vivgood]

There's always hope, as long as we live.  

My DD22 is now independent, working, in school, and a lovely, fun person to be around. She's on Prozac maintenance and Ativan as-needed. She did DBT as a teen. She was a high functioning BPD, or "BPD lite". As a teen I was low functioning BPD (very!), but no longer had any symptoms by  about age 27 (CBT and a tricyclic). I am happily married and working in a demanding field.

Embracing the simultaneous existence of hope and acceptance is a gift you give to yourself and to those around you.


vivgood

[BioAdoptMom3]

Thank you all so much for that   !  You just added to what DD's psychiatrist told us today about BPD traits, all that our DD has going for her and that indeed treatment has come a long way now and most who are diagnosed with it can and do lead very normal, successful lives, just as you       here have shared!  DD herself has actually been an   today, though I am not so naive as to expect that to carry over into tomorrow  !

[jellibeans]

I like to look at it this way... . we are running a marathon not a 5k... . these wonderful skills your dd has are not lost... . she will use them them one day... . her life is going to be a long one... . have hope and have patiences... .

[somuchlove]

vivgood  wow,  I had no idea.  I am glad for you. 


jellibeans you discribed it so well.  It most certainly is a marathon.  How many times do I want to just jump out of the race yet something keeps me jogging along. 

I think what the hard parts are, as those that have had success is, they finally get into treatment.  What I/we keep looking for is how to get that to happen and be successful.  The other hard part is knowing that we don't have that special word, or magic pill to hand to them to get help.  All we have is reading and reading more and more, learning how to do all the things that we can do and understand that is ALL we can do.  Hopefully doing it the right way will lead to them having a better life.   

[BioAdoptMom3]

As I said, you all are my    !  I love that analogy, a marathon rather than a 5K!  That describes it so well!  I am hating this feeling that I am having right now because it has been such a good day, but I have a hard believing that will continue for any length of time.  I am pretty sure by tomorrow the bottom will drop out again!

[somuchlove]

It is hard to get to excited.  I try to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment, yet scared to feel that way to long as we know what happens.  There are many things we need to be thankful for and enjoy.  Keep all of those in mind.  I/you can only do what we can do.   

everytime my phone rings or a text sound is made I get a sinking feeling.  What makes me so happy is when instead of my dd it is my grandson with his sweet up beat voice and I know there is a lot good in the world. 

I keep those calls close to my heart.

[qcarolr]

I believe there is always hope - it is blocked from me when things shift down with DD26. And when I reach out to take care of my own needs, then it comes back to me. I try to remember "I have been here before, I have felt this distress before, and I have come through it before". I try to remember that DD has been here before, she has yelled and cursed at me in her distress before, and I have loved her always and told her I love her and done my best to listen, and she comes through it again.

Baby steps of hope for her to accept the help that is crossing her path today. I leaned into it tonight - the distress of us both, and sat 'on the same side of the sofa' - not across the room. And I said directly what I wanted to say. And she gave me permission to call and make appts. tomorrow at mental health center with housing counselor and jobs program, and I promised to drive her and sit with her in these meetings. And she signed the release form to allow me to help her with appts. and these independent living programs.

here is always hope - for both of us.

qcr