Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 08:30:36 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Books members most read
105
The High
Conflict Couple
Loving Someone with
Borderline Personality Disorder
Loving the
Self-Absorbed
Borderline Personality
Disorder Demystified
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope... (Read 482 times)
BioAdoptMom3
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married for 28 years
Posts: 336
I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
on:
March 26, 2013, 11:24:42 PM »
for our children who have this disorder? DD is 13 with depression and anxiety being controlled well with Prozac and Abilify. She is in counseling, but not DBT as recommended because she was just diagnosed and so far we haven't found anyone who provides it and takes our insurance in our area. Sometimes I just want to break down and cry about the fact that she is academically gifted and so musically and athletically talented, but may never be able to use her gifts to their fullest potential in society because of mental illness. I have seen a lot of comments from other parents here as well about their beautiful, intelligent and talented children and I am sure I am not alone in my tears over that realization. How much hope really is there with this disorder? Thanks for any encouragement you can give me to all of you wonderful, supportive fellow BPD parents!
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
lbjnltx
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: widowed
Posts: 7757
we can all evolve into someone beautiful
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #1 on:
March 27, 2013, 07:07:32 AM »
Yes sweety... . there is much to be hopeful for.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=197121.0
Logged
BPDd-13 Residential Treatment -
keep believing in miracles
twojaybirds
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 622
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #2 on:
March 27, 2013, 09:34:10 AM »
Oh my I can feel your pain but be assured there is always hope.
Hope for our acceptance of who our children are not what we expected of them.
Hope for inner peace in knowing that we are good parents
Hope that we learn how to care for ourselves
Hope that our children find thier way thorugh the world as they grow into adults.
Hope that our society broadens its image on mental illness
Hope that tomorrow brings another day of hope , love and laughter in all our hearts.
Logged
Vivgood
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married 14 years
Posts: 500
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #3 on:
March 27, 2013, 01:10:48 PM »
There's always hope, as long as we live.
My DD22 is now independent, working, in school, and a lovely, fun person to be around. She's on Prozac maintenance and Ativan as-needed. She did DBT as a teen. She was a high functioning BPD, or "BPD lite". As a teen I was low functioning BPD (very!), but no longer had any symptoms by about age 27 (CBT and a tricyclic). I am happily married and working in a demanding field.
Embracing the simultaneous existence of hope and acceptance is a gift you give to yourself and to those around you.
vivgood
Logged
BioAdoptMom3
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married for 28 years
Posts: 336
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #4 on:
March 27, 2013, 05:01:54 PM »
Thank you all so much for that ! You just added to what DD's psychiatrist told us today about BPD traits, all that our DD has going for her and that indeed treatment has come a long way now and most who are diagnosed with it can and do lead very normal, successful lives, just as you here have shared! DD herself has actually been an today, though I am not so naive as to expect that to carry over into tomorrow
!
Logged
jellibeans
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1726
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #5 on:
March 27, 2013, 06:02:27 PM »
I like to look at it this way... . we are running a marathon not a 5k... . these wonderful skills your dd has are not lost... . she will use them them one day... . her life is going to be a long one... . have hope and have patiences... .
Logged
somuchlove
Formerly " t6450"
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 557
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #6 on:
March 27, 2013, 06:32:22 PM »
vivgood wow, I had no idea. I am glad for you.
jellibeans you discribed it so well. It most certainly is a marathon. How many times do I want to just jump out of the race yet something keeps me jogging along.
I think what the hard parts are, as those that have had success is, they finally get into treatment. What I/we keep looking for is how to get that to happen and be successful. The other hard part is knowing that we don't have that special word, or magic pill to hand to them to get help. All we have is reading and reading more and more, learning how to do all the things that we can do and understand that is ALL we can do. Hopefully doing it the right way will lead to them having a better life.
Logged
BioAdoptMom3
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married for 28 years
Posts: 336
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #7 on:
March 27, 2013, 07:01:20 PM »
As I said, you all are my ! I love that analogy, a marathon rather than a 5K! That describes it so well! I am hating this feeling that I am having right now because it has been such a good day, but I have a hard believing that will continue for any length of time. I am pretty sure by tomorrow the bottom will drop out again!
Logged
somuchlove
Formerly " t6450"
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 557
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #8 on:
March 27, 2013, 07:29:01 PM »
It is hard to get to excited. I try to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment, yet scared to feel that way to long as we know what happens. There are many things we need to be thankful for and enjoy. Keep all of those in mind. I/you can only do what we can do.
everytime my phone rings or a text sound is made I get a sinking feeling. What makes me so happy is when instead of my dd it is my grandson with his sweet up beat voice and I know there is a lot good in the world.
I keep those calls close to my heart.
Logged
qcarolr
Distinguished Member
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married to DH since 1976
Posts: 4926
Re: I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
«
Reply #9 on:
March 28, 2013, 12:08:54 AM »
I believe there is always hope - it is blocked from me when things shift down with DD26. And when I reach out to take care of my own needs, then it comes back to me. I try to remember "I have been here before, I have felt this distress before, and I have come through it before". I try to remember that DD has been here before, she has yelled and cursed at me in her distress before, and I have loved her always and told her I love her and done my best to listen, and she comes through it again.
Baby steps of hope for her to accept the help that is crossing her path today. I leaned into it tonight - the distress of us both, and sat 'on the same side of the sofa' - not across the room. And I said directly what I wanted to say. And she gave me permission to call and make appts. tomorrow at mental health center with housing counselor and jobs program, and I promised to drive her and sit with her in these meetings. And she signed the release form to allow me to help her with appts. and these independent living programs.
here is always hope - for both of us.
qcr
Logged
The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better. (Dom Helder)
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
I am afraid to ask, but is there hope...
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...