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motherof1yearold
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« on: March 30, 2013, 09:31:25 PM » |
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Ex sent e-mails , voicemails and what not asking if I wanted to come with him to his brothers birthday get together. I didn't reply , and I was in school. (It's his day with the baby) So when I got out of class I replied and we chatted a bit and basically long story short he disclosed that they are getting REALLY wasted over there. With my daughter there! I had instant terror come over me, knowing both him and his brother WILL drive , WITH the baby in the car!
So i bit the bullet. And called the local police. I told them everything. Police officer told me it would be unlikely I would get my daughter back tonight (aka leave her with the drunk people!) and if anything they would call child protective services. It has been 45 minutes and no call back for the well-being check. I am terrified 1. That she will be there for the night and 2. That if anything DOES happen *I* will be punished for calling the police! I'm so upset right now!
I will post back immediately with the *results* so to say but I am terrified even for calling , I'm kicking myself right now! PLEASE someone respond quickly I am having a bad moment !
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Louise7777
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« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2013, 09:35:59 PM » |
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Im sorry to hear all that! Is there someone else u can ask for help? A common friend to go there? His parents?
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2013, 09:37:47 PM » |
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Thank you so much for replying!
I don't have anyone to go to really , and definitely not his parents! Especially this late at night (where most drinking occurs !) I really don't have anyone to speak to
I STILL haven't gotten the call back from the police and it has been an hour! What does that mean?
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Louise7777
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« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2013, 09:40:15 PM » |
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You are welcome! If I were you, Id call the police back. No harm in that!
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2013, 09:40:41 PM » |
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That is a good idea I think I may have to do that! thank you!
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Louise7777
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« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2013, 09:46:18 PM » |
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Welcome. Please keep us posted. Maybe he was just trying to push your buttons... . But since you cant be sorry, better safe than sorry.  |
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2013, 09:54:14 PM » |
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Well I am DISGUSTED with my local PD. They did not call me back, I called them back (as advised my cristina) and they said I would be getting a call back... .
and guess what... . nothing. at all!
Apparently Law enforcement was sent out 30 mins ago and they didn't feel they needed to call me and tell me the outcome. I'm disgusted. I'm worrying for my 1 year old
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Louise7777
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« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2013, 10:00:26 PM » |
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Not sure this is a good idea, but there´s a way for u to go there and see from a distance?
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2013, 10:10:43 PM » |
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No no way for me to see they are getting drunk at my ex brother in laws a town away.
I called the police back twice and still no call back, the last time I called (just now) I apologized for calling so much and told the operator that my sister was a 911 answerer and he happened to know her. He said there were some serious incidents that is causing the delay. It is WAY past my bedtime and I am still awaiting a call
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Louise7777
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« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2013, 10:15:14 PM » |
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What do they say exactly? Did they get there or are in the way?
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Matt
Retired Staff
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Gender: 
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced.
Posts: 14130
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« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2013, 11:06:20 PM » |
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Can you go to the police station and get their attention that way?
If it was me, I'd probably call the police every 5 minutes til they do their job and make sure the child is OK.
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ForeverDad
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18680
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
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« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2013, 11:39:33 PM » |
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Don't delete or lose those texts. Can you download them onto a computer file? They are your proof that you had basis to call for a well check. If you can, take photos of those texts, or have a trusted friend that the pictures. You may need them later.
Don't second-guess yourself. You made the call using the information at hand and your best judgment. However, be prepared for a few days or more where he paints you blacker than black. perhaps even making counter-allegations, he's likely to try to make you look worse than him.
I believe you've stated before that he dumps her with his mother quite a bit. So can you even be sure where your D was tonight? Possibly he may later claim that his mother actually was the one with your daughter. While that may or may not be true, the fact that he admits to getting 'wasted' on his parenting time will not make him look like a good parent.
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2013, 08:41:07 AM » |
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everything was through e-mail since I don't have a phone right now. Police never called me back until 30 minutes after midnight (2 and half hours)
I don't even know what they said since I borrowed someone's phone and I was already asleep by that time.
Now I'm prepared to be split blacker than black ( Though I believe it will last more then a few days!)
Jeez.
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ForeverDad
Retired Staff
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18680
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
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« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2013, 08:48:06 AM » |
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Emails are even better, the "full headers" record date, time and other details of it being send and received by the email providers. Just don't delete the originals in case you need to document exactly what you received.
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2013, 08:50:38 AM » |
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I certainly will be keeping everything!
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Matt
Retired Staff
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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Relationship status: Divorced.
Posts: 14130
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« Reply #15 on: March 31, 2013, 10:48:00 AM » |
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Go visit the police, and get a copy of their report of the incident. Find out how they handled it and discuss it with them - this will happen again and how it can be handled next time.
If there is evidence that the child was at risk, talk to Child Protective Services and consider filing a motion with the court to prevent it from happening again.
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #16 on: March 31, 2013, 05:33:35 PM » |
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This morning the "painting black" started.
In my email inbox are several emails from ex. First one saying " I can't believe you are so heartbreaking! "
Then the next one " MOTHEROF1YEAROLD, You had the COPS looking for DD1 last night! ! For you sake you better not ever do that again!"
I told him plainly not to intimidate me. and that I am a good parent .
He goes on to say " THE COP WAS VERY PISSED AT YOU LAST NIGHT. AND SO AM I!"
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Louise7777
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« Reply #17 on: March 31, 2013, 05:36:21 PM » |
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How did it end last night? What did the police tell you? Was your daughter with him? Was she safe?
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #18 on: March 31, 2013, 05:37:27 PM » |
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I cannot even answer any of those questions. They did not return a call to me until 30 minutes after midnight (2.5 hours after calling) So I was already asleep. I don't have a phone right now so I was just borrowing someone else's.
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2013, 05:40:10 PM » |
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Just got another email from him. Before this I stated that I am and always will be receptive to my daughters well being and he replied back with this:
If u were ud take urself out if her life. Only thing distorted is ur perspective on reality. Ur lil world u live n is closing n, and I wont implode with u.
I will not be replying back to anything else he says since he obviously is projecting and has split me blacker than black... . Oh YES I am the evil one for attempting to intervene on my child's well being because of your alcoholism... . RIGHHTTT
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Surnia
Retired Staff
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Gender: 
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
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« Reply #20 on: April 05, 2013, 09:31:06 AM » |
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How you and your daughter are doing, Mo1YO?
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 “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #21 on: April 05, 2013, 06:49:49 PM » |
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We are doing well,
Just realizing we have a long road ahead of us since BPD ex is truly not capable of parenting 50 percent. My daughter will be 2 soon and we are due to go back to mediation to adjust the schedule. I have no choice but to bypass mediation (save money and time) and go straight to court because I basically gave him enough rope, and he hung himself. There is too much neglect on his part and developmental delays because of his lack of parenting and insight.
Slowly I am documenting evidence and putting together a parenting plan to give me majority parenting time and sole medical making decisions.
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momtara
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« Reply #22 on: April 05, 2013, 11:34:40 PM » |
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so were the police helpful at all, in the end? did you get the evidence you need?
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motherof1yearold
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« Reply #23 on: April 06, 2013, 01:00:12 PM » |
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Completely non helpful . Only gave ex ammo to punish me for worrying and calling police on him. I hate his hateful texts.
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