Had anyone known of ,or had an ex that was religous

[BP39]

I ask that ... .   has any one had an ex who was religious or born again ... .   did it have any impact on your relationship... .   or the decision making on theryre part

[Blessed0329]

Yes, my ex pwBPD is an ordained minister. He worked for me in a non religious field, but our relationship, and his fear of it becoming physical, prompted him to leave my employ and return to pastoring a church full time.

[GreenMango]

BP Are you wondering in reference to the kids or some of her future stability?

[BP39]

Hiya GM.

No just had a thought and wondered if any was in a realtionship with a BPD who was religious and if it alterd there risky behavior or how lies or manauplition was handled

Pretty much running out of hope with the ex ,ive tried just about anything to helpn her out of the situation she has put her self in... .   will you give you a pm to catch you up

[healingmyheart]

BP39,

My ex is very religious.  He was raised in a very religious family and went to bible college and goes to church most every weekend.  When I met him I thought "how wonderful, I don't have to worry about this guy... .   he seems like a god fearing wholesome guy."

Well, it really doesn't matter... .   he still lied and deceived me and has had both emotional and physical affairs (one with a married women). 

After I found out about his unscrupulous behavior and kicked him out, he reached out to god and said that I should do the same and forgive him.  He sent me bible verses about forgiveness and how he doesn't understand how I can me too good to forgive.  Little does he know, it's not that easy... .  

[GreenMango]

We're a detaching board and I'd like to redirect this discussion into a more healing direction.

The OP raised this question.  

I ask that ... .   has any one had an ex who was religious or born again ... .   did it have any impact on your relationship... .   or the decision making on theryre part

Many times these open poll threads end up in dog pile of comparing war stories.  People with BPD are prone to unstable interpersonal relationships and identity issues.

Healthy  A constructive discussion would be to explore why BP39 wants to discuss this and if there are any current issues going on with the children that may be a concern regarding this.

Unhealthy  An unhealthy discussion is to take a poll on religious variances and unstable BPD behavior and open it up to telling war stories.   Doing this is called co-ruminating which is both rewarding and not healthy.

The term researchers use is “co-rumination” to describe frequently or obsessively discussing the "same" problem. The behavior is typical among teens and psychologists say it has intensified significantly with e-mail, text messaging, instant messaging, messageboards and Facebook. And in may cases it can spin into a potentially contagious and unhealthy emotional angst, experts say.

So BP39, can you tell us what is going on and why this is an important topic, rather than focusing on detachment and healing?