Impatience.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

That could be on my part - since I know only time will heal my wounds. I wish I could just "Eternal Sunshine" him away!

and ... .   it's on his part as well.

He sent an email this morning, very basic. I ignored it. He then proceeded to text me the same thing, an hour later and then sent the same text 45 minutes after that - with no response. I'm really trying to stick to NC.

Next week marks the date, to the year, that he proposed to me. He and I also first started dating in April, as well, so it's a special/rough month for us, with milestones. I know i've been struggling with this - but is he as well? And why can't he be patient? I've never noticed the impatience on his part to this level before.

[lostkitten]

That could be on my part - since I know only time will heal my wounds. I wish I could just "Eternal Sunshine" him away!

and ... .   it's on his part as well.

He sent an email this morning, very basic. I ignored it. He then proceeded to text me the same thing, an hour later and then sent the same text 45 minutes after that - with no response. I'm really trying to stick to NC.

Next week marks the date, to the year, that he proposed to me. He and I also first started dating in April, as well, so it's a special/rough month for us, with milestones. I know i've been struggling with this - but is he as well? And why can't he be patient? I've never noticed the impatience on his part to this level before.

[whereisthezen]

Most likely he feels something has changed in you or in your needs. I think thats what you're trying to show now so I'd keep up no contact until your ready to reply with your needs as an absolute. Think about what you need what you really need now.

[lipstick]

Hi lostkitten,

I agree with zen. Your ex probably senses changes in you and is getting "anxious".  You say April is a milestone month for you and he? For myself and my ex as well. Mine has given me the Silent Treatment for six months except for a brief exchange at the beginning of February over a joint financial obligation. During that exchange he stated that "I'm sorry - but this has to be the end". So back to the Silent Treatment. Fine. Feeling mostly detached at this point anyway. Whatever.  Fast-forward to our "milestone" month. Now he's trying to get my attention on FB by making subtle references to our "anniversary" including posting photos that I was tagged in, etc... .   Why after telling me "this has to be the end"? I wonder if he'll escalate. Should be interesting to watch. Good luck with your ex. They are so unpredictable and frustrating! Keep us posted!

[lostkitten]

I'm sure that when I told him last week, curtly, he needed to leave me alone - for my sake and out of respect for the new girl he's seeing - and stuck to it, it was a rude awakening. I always tried to be available for him, because it is unbearable to me to shut the figurative door on him. I just keep thinking he's going to come back. If he is so done and over and happy without me, why hasn't he been NC for more than a few days? Why does he keep tabs on me through mutual friends? Why does he try to stay close with my close friends? If he's so happy - then go!

He tweeted this the other night: "I'd like to think that you're happy without me and your happy thoughts are rarely about me". They're lyrics (thanks google!) to a song about missing someone and someone being "worth all this torture". What's that supposed to do?

I also found out recently some of "his" friends now have me painted to be the villain in this. It's not surprising, but it doesn't help. I have plenty of my own friends, and frankly, we're never close to his - but it doesn't hurt any less

[mango_flower]

Ha - I haven't seen that movie but have always said that I'd love my life to be like that... .   erase the pain... .  

I'll also be curious to know if my ex thinks about specific dates in the calendar the way I do... .   I'm pretty weird about dates haha.  They hold meaning to me, and I wonder if she even remembers them?

Sounds like you're doing well with the ignoring.  Keep going, keep going... .   one day at a time. x

[paperlung]

I wish I could just "Eternal Sunshine" him away!

I've thought the same thing, hah.

[BorderlineMagnet]

I actually felt the "Eternal Sunshine" thing the first few days of my Wellbutrin. Now nearly 3 weeks in that's gone and I ruminate like crazy still. I'm told in another 2 1/2 weeks the Wellbutrin will take hold and maybe help me stop obsessing so much. God I hope so... .  

[Findingmysong723]

As hard as it is, it's a learning experience that we have to learn from so we find better relationships. I loved the movie "Eternal Sunshine from the Spotless mind," and the theme I got at the end was that Jim Carrey's character realized that he needed to remember his past and Kristin Dunst character had gotten her memory taken away and she almost made the same mistake again. I guess we need to remember so we can learn so we don't bring enough person like that into our life but not obsess so we can move with our lives, I wish that for all of us!