Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
November 01, 2024, 12:33:21 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
204
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: BPD going to seminars  (Read 428 times)
unortel
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married, unhappily
Posts: 77



« on: April 11, 2013, 10:41:33 AM »

So my BPDw has gone to Landmark forum (EST based) to gain some "skills" knowing this is her last ditch effort knowing that I am on my way out.  She has gone to the first one with limited success. She uses the words but not fully getting it.  She was talking a a friend the other night about gas lighting not realizing she does that very frequently. So much so the our children s14-d16 know to protect themselves from it. I have to ask them after a conversation how it actually went and what was said. My son has become particularly  surly about it.

SOO my question is( I think I know the answer) does the BPD ever get it? Is there ever a long term noticeable change in them?

Logged
seeking balance
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 7146



« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2013, 11:11:25 AM »

SOO my question is( I think I know the answer) does the BPD ever get it? Is there ever a long term noticeable change in them?

BPD isn't about "getting it" - most pwBPD are very intelligent.  It is an emotional issue that needs treatment teaching skills on dealing with over-active emotions.  Over time with proper therapy, the BPD behaviors can be diluted or gone away.  The brain neurons for the maladaptive coping skills a literally rewired.

Again, it has nothing to do with "getting it".  It is like reading a bunch of books on diet and exercise, yet being over-weight because you never practice the tools with a trainer or nutritionist.

Logged

Faith does not grow in the house of certainty - The Shack
nolisan
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332



« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2013, 07:56:26 AM »

Mine went to 12 step meetings for 23 years - AlAnon, CoDA and ACA and never "got it". Think she was doing "13th Stepping" - looking for other wounded souls to fill her abandonment needs.
Logged
unortel
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married, unhappily
Posts: 77



« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2013, 10:28:47 PM »

As she is now attending a seminar now... .   She talks like it is impact-full and she is getting "it", and having some break throughs. Then is in the next breath crazy. Threats to sue me  The intermittent reinforcement of that sometimes sane behavior almost gets me again. Hoping for that sane person to stick around, because I can live with her. But I know not going to happen. So I will take that semi sane person and keep moving forward with divorce plans.

It is like an alcoholic. Really sorry for her actions, but doing them again and again. So maybe not sorry?
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!