Apart from what lockedout said, he doesn't hate you. He hates himself. He hates the fact that he is not perfect, that you know about it, that you have reminded him of his faults and iniquities and are setting boundaries. Any normal partner would acknowledge this and work things out with you. For someone with BPD this is intolerable, because they simply cannot face their true self. They would rather move on and block out any self-reflection. It's a BPD survival-instinct. You shouldn't take this personal (although it's hard).
As hard as it is now, know that you are better off. His behavior won't change as long as he is not willing to resolve his personal issues. There would always be another enormous "f**k up" or accident waiting to happen... . You don't need that.
Keep reading here... . Scour the boards and start healing yourself. It's the best that you can do for yourself right now. You're a wonderful person and you deserve to be loved and respected
atb, mrclear
