Total Twist -She is telling me to get "mental" help.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

In a long email where she distorts history to the reality that exists only in her mind she finishes it with the fololowing paragraph.

"You should be aiming at honesty and integrity which would not only reflect on the quality of the relationships you have, but would also bring you a sense of joy and inner peace.  I would strongly urge you to get professional help to deal with your own self-defeating issues.  If you want real happiness and love in your life, you need to start first with yourself."


I can't even be bothered to reply.

[AJwhatThe]

In a long email where she distorts history to the reality that exists only in her mind she finishes it with the fololowing paragraph.

"You should be aiming at honesty and integrity which would not only reflect on the quality of the relationships you have, but would also bring you a sense of joy and inner peace.  I would strongly urge you to get professional help to deal with your own self-defeating issues.  If you want real happiness and love in your life, you need to start first with yourself."


I can't even be bothered to reply.

[real lady]

Hi AJ... .   Well, it does sound like she may be in denial and a bit deluded about who needs some help. At least it was "some sensible advice" if directed to the "wrong" person.

I imagine that this was her denial to you having already left and "how wrong" you are for leaving her. I would give no response also. It gives me a headache when they twist things like this. I agree, it isn't worth our time... .  

Well, you can start with yourself... .  start by caring for yourself today... .  

[Hurt llama]

sounds like she is talking to herself.

[Lady31]

I just had to reply to this.  Mine told me the exact same thing.  On more than one occasion here in the last 6 months/year of our relationship.

He would say:  "You're CRAAAAZY!  You belong in a home."  Or "You belong in a mental home, you're NUTS!" Or "You need mental help/professional help!"

Interesting that I think he knew I started to think this about him during the last stint of our relationship - and that is why he started saying it about me. (I had never SAID that to him, but he knew I was reading on emotional disorders, BPD and other personality disorders.)

[doubleAries]

SIGH... .  

Yeah, I know. My stbx husband is diagnosed bipolar1 w/psychotic features, ASPD, and NPD. His diagnosis was very recently changed from paranoid schizophrenic with manic depression. He knows this. He does treatment for it.

Yet about a month ago, he screamed at me "You really need psychiatric help!"   However, perhaps he is somewhat correct. Why else would I have married someone like him?   Years ago, he once spat out in utter disgust "what kind of person would marry a schizophrenic?"   What kind of person indeed? 

[ScotisGone74]

at the end with my expwBPD as I was coming to her house and beginning to walk into the door like I had thousands of times, she gets in the doorway and starts coming up with excuses like why I can't come in, truthfully she had some other guy in her bedroom, she said I was 'acting crazy'.  this is after she had called me to come over.  In one of the last emails to her I told her she really needed some help, her response was it was awful I would choose to think the worst of her instead of the best.    Most of it is projection, for the most part they know they have a problem, they want to make you think or appear like we are the one's with the problem.   Really it is a sad life for them hopping to one relationship after another in hopes the next one will bring them something they can really only get inside themselves. 

[Validation78]

Hey All!

Do we really care what their opinions of us are? If we are no longer in a relationship with someone, especially under these circumstances, (pwBPD), I know in my case, his opinion has no value to me, I don't respect him, I don't need validation from him. These are the things I seek from people I do respect and value in my life.

After the break up, things are said to elicit emotion and a reaction. When dealing with a pwBPD, it's a hook, to keep us engaged. If you bite, there's still a chance to pull you back in. If you don't bite, you gain confidence in yourself, your ability to stay in wise mind, and not allow your emotions to be triggered. It is satisfying and freeing!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[LoveNotWar]

Oh yes, I was the crazy one who needed to get some help, and you know what... .  by the end of that r/s I WAS on the mental edge and I did need help!

But now that I'm out for almost 9 months I see things so much more clearly and I don't let things he said cause self doubt.

Just cause he said it doesn't make it true 

[lhd981]

AJ,

I would take care of my BPD exgf during her outbursts, anger, bouts of depression and other unpleasantries. It even got to the point that I'd be bringing her dinner and cleaning her apartment on most nights that she worked late, just to reduce her stress. I loved her and would have done anything for her.

Yet whenever I'd confide in her about something that I was going through, she'd often throw it back in my face at a later point and say "I don't have time to be your therapist", not to mention strongly imply that I was the one who needed help. This is more common than you can imagine and I'm sorry you even had to read the ridiculous statements that she wrote. No reply is the best reply. Best of luck!

[Rocknut]

My ex with BPD had a drug problem. After I told his family, and set up an intervention, I was called crazy.