Feeling better... at last

[jj2121]

I posted my story months back and it was only a short relationship of around 4 months which dragged on for months after. I ended up seeing a therapist for a few sessions and I am happy to say I am finally over my ex. The therapy helped me a little, but it took me around 6 months to get over a very short fling.

The constant going over everything in my head has stopped and I also know now that I would never get closure from her and I had to work this out for myself,it was certainly nothing to do with me.

The thought of my ex now also make me cringe and feel sick. I will never be the victim of an emotional bully again,that's for sure. I know the signs too well!

[me757]

Glad to hear it. Hopefully I'll get to where you are soon. I had a 5 month relationship that is stilling dragging on for the 6th month post breakup. Really trying to detach but its been very slow and hard. It's ridiculous to me that its taken me longer than the actual relationship to get over this (although we still saw each other every once in awhile up to nearly a month ago.)

[delgato]

... .  a very short fling.

Honestly, you can't really measure a BPD relationship in terms of length. These are not your run-of-the-mill relationships!

The intensity, the extremes, the very nature of how it typically operates.

These are hyper-concentrated "connections" to our very core.

It really doesn't take very long when involved with pwBPD.

[jj2121]

I know that, it certainly did not feel like a short fling. I just could not see the wood for the trees when I was still in contact with her. Looking back now it's amazing how many red flags I noticed and how crazy it was.

[lhd981]

It took me nearly a year to get over a relationship of 7 months - I'm almost fully recovered, but still have periods of missing things about her. The red flags were there from the night we met until the night we broke up, but the whole thing just felt traumatic.

I read your introductory story; it certainly seems like she had her share of issues and red flags, but hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?

Glad to hear you're over it!

[jj2121]

The worst thing was, I was really only seeing her at nights and think she did very well to put an act on and hide it all, until near the end and after the breakup, it was just crazy!

I realised she was oblivious to the fact she had done anything wrong in the end and was always a victim of circumstances, some were made up and exaggerated too.

She was an emotional bully.

The last time I spoke to her, I just said, "I always thought you would apologize, but maybe not, I don't think you are aware... .  take care" .