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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: How to handle this  (Read 433 times)
PascalB

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 5


« on: May 18, 2013, 05:07:22 PM »

Me and my BPD wife have been separated for 6 months and as hard as it is I want to move on. I have tried dating and I'm always afraid of getting seen by my ex. Well my nightmare came through the other night as I had company over and my ex showed up and started banging on my windows. I got her to leave after talking with her for a couple of hrs. The girl was scared and is done with me which I fully understand. But now my ex is putting on the full court press with text for example after our talk she assumed I would give her another chance

i wanna thank u for giving me another chance it feels like i won the lottery. u gonna c how much i love u and want to be with u for the rest of our life. and i know we are taking it slow. i love u always pascal

I followed by telling her that I had not decided that and need more time to let her know which lead to these throughout the day

please give me another chance we dont have to say we r together just work on getting there i wont let u down i love u so much.

no pressure i just need one more chance to prove my love for u. i  know u have a heart to give me just one more try. 12 years is not easy to let go. i love u i will not ask u again just give me an answer when u ready. we can do this

I'm starting to question my self and if she really loves me and maybe I'm making the wrong choice?
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Clearmind
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 5537



« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2013, 05:17:08 PM »

PB, these texts can easily cause you question what you want to do.

Can you remind yourself of why you left/separated in the first place. Look at the facts and remove the emotion.
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