Two Frogs

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Ever wonder how this all came about?  Ever felt dumb for not seeing the red flags?  Analogy:  "A scientist put a frog in a pan of very hot water.  The frog immediately jumped out.  Next, the scientist put a second frog in a pan of cool water and gradually turned up the heat.  The frog boiled to death."  Involvement with a pwBPD can be very insidious.  You are swept off your feet.  You may feel caution at first, but it is exciting to have someone so crazy about you.  This person may be very talented and accomplished.  You are flattered.  The criticism starts gradually.  But you have been hooked.  They start to tell you about their bad childhood, other bad relationships, and you think "but this will be different, I can reassure him/her that I love them."  Or you think they are so insecure they are scared & are trying to dump you before you dump them.  You think you can reassure them, "fix it."  The criticism/put-downs increases.  You are told it is your fault; you are told you do not know how to communicate.  You become confused.  You keep trying until they do something so outrageous that if you are fortunate, you jump out of the pan.  You are a survivor, you did not boil to death.  Give yourself a big hug.  You deserve it.  You will heal.  Believe me, it does get better, and you deserve better.  Success grows upon success.  Recovery will be gradual, but, in my opinion, the only way to go is NC.  Do not let them suck you back in.  Think of the frog.

[eniale]

Ever wonder how this all came about?  Ever felt dumb for not seeing the red flags?  Analogy:  "A scientist put a frog in a pan of very hot water.  The frog immediately jumped out.  Next, the scientist put a second frog in a pan of cool water and gradually turned up the heat.  The frog boiled to death."  Involvement with a pwBPD can be very insidious.  You are swept off your feet.  You may feel caution at first, but it is exciting to have someone so crazy about you.  This person may be very talented and accomplished.  You are flattered.  The criticism starts gradually.  But you have been hooked.  They start to tell you about their bad childhood, other bad relationships, and you think "but this will be different, I can reassure him/her that I love them."  Or you think they are so insecure they are scared & are trying to dump you before you dump them.  You think you can reassure them, "fix it."  The criticism/put-downs increases.  You are told it is your fault; you are told you do not know how to communicate.  You become confused.  You keep trying until they do something so outrageous that if you are fortunate, you jump out of the pan.  You are a survivor, you did not boil to death.  Give yourself a big hug.  You deserve it.  You will heal.  Believe me, it does get better, and you deserve better.  Success grows upon success.  Recovery will be gradual, but, in my opinion, the only way to go is NC.  Do not let them suck you back in.  Think of the frog.

[IwentWithMyInstincts]

Three words: Freaking. Awesome. Post.