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Author Topic: Broken up, not sure what to expect...  (Read 478 times)
Pretty Woman
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1683


The Greatest Love is the Love You Give Yourself


« on: July 01, 2013, 05:12:38 PM »

After 11mo and several breakups (all initiated by my BPD ex) she finally left me May 31 for her ex from 10 years ago.  Our final break was probably the lamest to date.  This was my first lesbian relationship and my best friend of 25 years (very religious) told me she could no longer be my friend.  I was devastated.  I called my ex and told her I was really down and if we could pass on dinner. She told me she was done, it was over. 

In the days that followed she told me we could be friends and then vacillated with we couldn't be friends. A week later she told me she loved me very much but was "seeing someone" her ex that had been present in our relationship the whole time.

Please note: the ex is in Minnesota and we are in Illinois. Ironically the ex is going through a divorce from the woman she left my ex for and her soon to be ex is still living with her through September.

So I send her an email wishing her luck and I get this... .

Do not ever contact me again. I am setting boundaries.  We cannot be friends. I will never be intimate with you again and if you ever contact me I will file a restraining order against you. 

She then proceeds to copy the definition for "harassment" in the email.

I have not spoken or contacted her since but noticed she keeps blocking and unblocking me on Facebook (we are not friends on there).  She also showed up to my cycle class after telling me she would let me have that day.  I feel like she is already breaking the so call boundaries she has set.

My therapist tells me this is far from over and she is going to try to reach out to me.  A part of me wants her to but I am disgusted about this ex.  This ex broke her heart and to this day she would cry about what happened. I always thought that was weird especially since she was dating me.  She would even say this ex was "the one that got away". 


Does anyone think this will actually work? Neither plans to move and Im four miles from my ex versus hundreds.  Her ex promised never to leave her again. 

Does anyone else think this lady is just rebounding? Apparently she told my ex they were" soul mates and would end up together" throughout her marriage to another woman but she stayed with her ten years.  I dunno. I'm not planning to triangulate that's for sure (I most likely already was).  Thoughts appreciated.
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briefcase
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Married 18 years, together 20 years, still living together
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« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2013, 10:16:03 AM »

It's reall hard to say what she really feels or where this thing with her ex will go.  I wish I could offer more insight.  The important thing to do is take care of yourself right now.  If your T is right and she reaches out to you (likely), then its best if you are in a good, strong place.  Its better for you, and more attractive to her too!   

Good luck!
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