Hi, all
It's been a while since I've been on here-I've been trying to focus on me and DH, and stay out of the madness. Things have been rocky, but I've managed to avoid most of it

I'm around just as much as I need to be. My poor father however is bearing the brunt of everything. I've digested all of the information I've read on these boards, and it's really helped me stay calm on the few occasions where I've been around her. So I want to thank everyone here
Today my question is about how my unBPDm insists on alienating herself. She goes out of her way to be out of the loop, and then throws a woe-is-me tantrum. She randomly texted me this morning asking why I dislike her so much. I gently reminded her that if I call and she doesn't answer or return the call, that I'm doing my part, and the ball is in her court. She then promptly started complaining about my dad, and how she never gets to do anything or go anywhere, etc. I know she likes to be the victim, but going out of her way to sabotage herself is just crazy making!
When she does this self alienating, do I just ignore it? Or do I take the bait and coddle her? I really want to tell her to put on her big girl pants and take responsibility for herself, but I don't think that would go over so well.