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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: His self destruct mechanism overrides everything else  (Read 439 times)
toomanytears
Formerly "mwamvua"
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 285



« on: September 27, 2013, 08:25:37 PM »

We've got a wonderful family and he's finally secured him dream job.

What's not to like?

Everything, if you are emotionally disregulated... .his self destruct mechanism has gone into override. He's left our home and moved into a horrible little flat which he hates. I'm in pieces by how things have escalated so quickly.

Do you think the BPD in my H makes him feel he doesn't deserve all the good that has come at last, after all our hard work?

Does anyone have any insights or similar experiences?
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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2013, 09:57:03 PM »

Toomanytears

a big, big 

This are bad news, I feel with you.

Take some deep breaths.

Could it be that the dream job means some stress for him? Like if he can achieve the expectations or not?

May I ask you, are you working with a therapiste for yourself?

We are here for you, Toomanytears!
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.”  Brené Brown
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