Has anyone dealt with BPD that is also a Narcassist, or does that even exsist?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I talk with my therapist today, she is proud of me to finally see the light of what she has seen for a long time and try to help me with, but I was blinded by what I believed was someone loving me, instead actually just using and abusing me, and worse me letting them.

After telling her the story and telling her I was done, and explaining the things that have happened over the last week,  She said from the things I described she had thought the things he would do were BPD and that of a narcissist.  She said narcissist because he always put himself in such high regard. 

He told me recently that his therapist had fired him, but he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be upset that I still saw mine and needed help when he didn't?  HUH?  does that even make any sense?  I was dumbfounded... .

[Hard2btough]

I talk with my therapist today, she is proud of me to finally see the light of what she has seen for a long time and try to help me with, but I was blinded by what I believed was someone loving me, instead actually just using and abusing me, and worse me letting them.

After telling her the story and telling her I was done, and explaining the things that have happened over the last week,  She said from the things I described she had thought the things he would do were BPD and that of a narcissist.  She said narcissist because he always put himself in such high regard. 

He told me recently that his therapist had fired him, but he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be upset that I still saw mine and needed help when he didn't?  HUH?  does that even make any sense?  I was dumbfounded... .

[delusionalxox]

Mine certainly seemed to be a combo of BPD and narc. very high self regard, saw self as very wise and a bit of a guru, constantly criticising and devaluing me from early on, delusions of world-changing and specialness. etc. Deeply insecure although highly arrogant.

But what wasn't narc about him was the way he would cling desperately and sometimes crumble like a 5 year old child especially when feeling abandoned.

his recycles came with no apologies though. Just 'I forgive YOU... . let's start again'. There was no responsibility for anything except in brief flashes which he would then renege on. I think this is common to both BPD and NPD.

[causticdork]

I think the main difference is that Borderlines suffer from inconsistent Narcissism. They seem to all have a weird, fragile form of narcissism that can turn in on itself at the drop of a hat.  All Borderlines are Narcissistic (at times) but not all Narcissists are Borderline.  At least that's what I remember reading when I was trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with my girlfriend.

[causticdork]

I found this: 

One of the ways that borderline and narcissistic personality disorder differs is in how they initially present in a clinical setting. The person with BPD is likely to be friendly, cooperative, and willing to share. A client with NPD is likely to spend a great deal of time trying to convince a therapist of his importance, which is usually accomplished with boasting and tall tales. The NPD client also wants to charm the therapist, but tends to spend more time in exaggerated description of his own merits.

When the NPD client can’t elicit the admiration of the therapist, he or she may give up and move on to someone else. This profoundly differs from scenarios that may occur the day the BPD client is disappointed by a therapist. The response could be disproportionate fury, which might include acting out, quitting therapy immediately, or refusing to cooperate. This response is characteristic of borderline personality disorder in most relationships.

A commonality in borderline and narcissistic personality disorder is a history of failed relationships, which differ in quality. Those with BPD usually have intense relationships that finally end because of the other party’s failure. They may attribute this to a pattern, such as: “I always choose the wrong men.” An NPD client is likely to describe many sketchy associations without much depth. These often end when the other party fails to appropriately appreciate the person’s unique qualities.

Individuals with borderline and narcissistic personality disorder may also differ in reactions to disappointment. In BPD, actions in response to perceived injury include real suicide attempts, self-injury, and substance abuse. People with NPD may register shock and alarm, but their pattern is to move onto someone else who better appreciates them.

[seeking balance]

My neighbor runs the mental health for the city I live - she is DBT trained - when I was really trying to pinpoint exact diagnosis - she explained to me that the Cluster B disorders can all morph into each other at times, simply it is maladaptive coping to emotional triggers in life.  She said their emotional toolbelts are lacking fundamental tools to a healthy self image.

Ultimately, learn as much as you need to detach from the behaviors so you can heal... . and remember that any of the Cluster B's can "remember"facts a bit different - as may be the case with your ex and his therapist.