a new understanding, exdBPDg/f ment every word she said

[Depression = 72% of members]

6 years of hell lost confused mad sad hurt cheated on recycled living the post so amny of you have wrote here not even a quess as to what what i was dealing with.

ex left four going on five months ago same story as always and as many of yours.

about two months ago on a diffrent site i met a women that has BPD and is in treatment for this illness and taking charge of her life. we have been very open with each other about the two side of living with this illness.

she has given me a better understand of how ppl with BPD think feel and live. i hope by posting this i can give this gift to some of you and maybe it will help someone in some way.

we all want to know what love is to someone with BPD. why did they leave will they come back did we matter to them. are they happy now. is it going to work with the new guy/girl?

if someone with BPD said they love you they miss you they need you. they ment every word of it at the time they said it.

the same gos for the time they said they hate you wish they never met you were in love with the new person.

what would we do if we didnt love someone anymore and were sure they are the reason we are so unhappy? i think i may run myself, but im lucky im stable.

how would we feel about ourself if we told the person that ment the most to us we hated them and really ment it but a hour latter we loved them again... . that would be hard to back out of for anyone.

ppl with BPD feeling and mood change so fast it must be hell to live like that.

ppl with BPD often hate the thing they do but are not in control of themself they may be adult in years but that doesnt mean they see the world they way we do.

what we didnt know and dont understand is how they can change by the day hour or min, i dont think ppl with BPD know

i dont think the way some of us have been treated is as much about our ex being selfish as it was about their feelings wants and needs really did change.

we are stable we know what we want and whats good for us and whats not. what if we didnt couldnt make up are mind about anything. THANK GOD WE DONT LIVE WITH THAT!

im not saying the way we have lifed or been treated is ok and in now way should we take this treatment

i hope this brings some understand to some of you and maybe understanding will lead to healing and to living again

[simplyasiam]

6 years of hell lost confused mad sad hurt cheated on recycled living the post so amny of you have wrote here not even a quess as to what what i was dealing with.

ex left four going on five months ago same story as always and as many of yours.

about two months ago on a diffrent site i met a women that has BPD and is in treatment for this illness and taking charge of her life. we have been very open with each other about the two side of living with this illness.

she has given me a better understand of how ppl with BPD think feel and live. i hope by posting this i can give this gift to some of you and maybe it will help someone in some way.

we all want to know what love is to someone with BPD. why did they leave will they come back did we matter to them. are they happy now. is it going to work with the new guy/girl?

if someone with BPD said they love you they miss you they need you. they ment every word of it at the time they said it.

the same gos for the time they said they hate you wish they never met you were in love with the new person.

what would we do if we didnt love someone anymore and were sure they are the reason we are so unhappy? i think i may run myself, but im lucky im stable.

how would we feel about ourself if we told the person that ment the most to us we hated them and really ment it but a hour latter we loved them again... . that would be hard to back out of for anyone.

ppl with BPD feeling and mood change so fast it must be hell to live like that.

ppl with BPD often hate the thing they do but are not in control of themself they may be adult in years but that doesnt mean they see the world they way we do.

what we didnt know and dont understand is how they can change by the day hour or min, i dont think ppl with BPD know

i dont think the way some of us have been treated is as much about our ex being selfish as it was about their feelings wants and needs really did change.

we are stable we know what we want and whats good for us and whats not. what if we didnt couldnt make up are mind about anything. THANK GOD WE DONT LIVE WITH THAT!

im not saying the way we have lifed or been treated is ok and in now way should we take this treatment

i hope this brings some understand to some of you and maybe understanding will lead to healing and to living again

[jollygreen]

Thanks simply, I really liked reading these quips.  more please, .

I realize it's a disorder, I realize their brains are wired differently and they don't mean to do what they do sometimes.  But the words, actions, and emotions hurt so much.  I think to my self sometimes, if her brain were only normal I'd be with the woman of my dreams.  However, truth is she would've probably married the guy that was 3 before me.  So life had a reason for me going through this... .   I hope.

[Blaise]

So life had a reason for me going through this... .

I like this. Maybe we have to realize that our BPD loved ones were not brought to us because we were meant for each other, but for us to address our own issues and be reborn.

[Ironmanrises]

It is a very hard realization to come to grips with. The fact that we are on this forum and have or are still dealing with all of this, have overcompensated to such an extent in a relationship with such a person... . Only further compounds how hard and bitter it is to come to terms with this. Almost like building a sea wall to protect you from this giant wave that annihilated you prior but then realizing a bigger wave is inbound. And then another. So exhausting. Demoralizing. Sometimes I wish I didn't know anything about this illness. I know that is counterproductive, I get that. But all that it takes from you in the process. I am repairing my Ironman suit in the wake of my exUBPDgf having left me for the second time 43 days ago. There are days that I wonder, will my repairs be effective for future most likely exposure to that person. I close my eyes and wish I knew for certain. I still tumble.

[Hazelrah]

So life had a reason for me going through this... .

I like this. Maybe we have to realize that our BPD loved ones were not brought to us because we were meant for each other, but for us to address our own issues and be reborn.

This is really one of the few things that is keeping me going right now... . the fact that maybe this buzzsaw was what I needed to finally tackle my self-esteem, codependency, and a myriad of other personal issues that I've never seemed to get a full handle on.  The problem is I now find myself having to dig myself out of the deepest hole I've ever experienced... . still feel like I'm at the bottom of it right now.