I found myself out of work last February (partly because I was so consumed with all the drama at home, but that's a long story for another time, if ever). After we split and while I was traveling around doing temp assignments, I had a funny text conversation with my ex about the weirdness in the hotel room I was given. I moved to close the conversation and he acted all hurt and abandoned. I felt sorry for him and promised him I would let him know where my search for a permanent position took me.
I started doing research into why I was feeling so crappy about the break up and why our relationship took the form it did. I realized many things about myself that were painful to confront. I also realized my ex probably had BPD even if I wasn't qualified to diagnose it. I went incommunicado for several months and started putting my life back together.
A few weeks ago, I was offered a position in the state to which I had relocated. A few days after that, I sent my ex a text message telling him I was OK and that I had accepted a position far away. That started a flurry of questions from him - which I answered in generalities. When that failed to elicit a response from me, he personalized it with a recollection of a vacation we had that he says, "was the best memory of my life." I was shocked and stunned. What he doesn't seem to recall is how problematic that vacation was in terms of his moodiness and withdrawal. I made that a fantastic trip for both of us by just ignoring his antics.
Anyway, I so wanted to engage with him around that. Instead, I wrote a letter to him and put it in my journal. I've said what I needed to say and I didn't engage with my Sad Savage. It feels like a good solution.
Thanks for letting me share. Carry on... .
