Picky about what they respond to

[willbegood]

I'm at the stage where I'm pretty much over my BPDex and am fairly happy about living on my own again. Since we've been apart I can contact her and she generally responds. I've contacted her a couple times now about the dog she insisted on getting which she left here. She's not once responded to any of my messages about the dog. The last one being that I finally found a new home for him.

It's not really important she responds about the dog. The message was more of an FYI since she's the one that wanted and bought him. I find it odd that she'll respond to me asking how everything's going but not this.

I guess it brings some sort of emotional feeling which she doesn't know how to express so she ignores it.

[HarmKrakow]

I'm at the stage where I'm pretty much over my BPDex and am fairly happy about living on my own again. Since we've been apart I can contact her and she generally responds. I've contacted her a couple times now about the dog she insisted on getting which she left here. She's not once responded to any of my messages about the dog. The last one being that I finally found a new home for him.

It's not really important she responds about the dog. The message was more of an FYI since she's the one that wanted and bought him. I find it odd that she'll respond to me asking how everything's going but not this.

I guess it brings some sort of emotional feeling which she doesn't know how to express so she ignores it.

Why do you find it odd that she doesn't respond to everything? Its an ex with a personality disorder, that's even lower than a friend. You wouldn't constantly reply to crappy friend either. I think you are the one having it to much on your mind and a post like this gives me the idea "im pretty much over it" far from the truth

[thisyoungdad]

It is funny because I went through this same thing with my ex, but about our daughter mostly. Although yes about "our" dog too. It wasn't until I was able to let it go enough that rather than react every time I was able to simply respond to myself (key here) that this was her behavior, unpredictable, and that I had to let go of the outcome. Now I can generally do that, although I find it frustrating that she selectively responds I don't have a huge emotional reaction and attachment to her not responding. As that has shifted it has helped me gauge how much I am over her.

[willbegood]

Why do you find it odd that she doesn't respond to everything?

What I find odd is she didn't respond about her dog but she will respond to just about anything else.

As for having it on my mind too much... .she's on my mind less and less by the day... .the neighbor who's taking the dog even asked if the exfg was going to have a problem with it. It seemed appropriate to contact the ex and give her a chance to take the dog and/or let her know the dog was going to a new home. I just thought I'd share the experience here and see if anyone else has noticed this behavior from a BPD.