Need help sorting this out

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

   flew up a long time ago... .now the truth is coming out. 

[eeyore]

   flew up a long time ago... .now the truth is coming out. 

[fft524]

Yeah, mine have been up, too. Bpd or not, I just get so frustrated sometimes because the solution to all of this is elegant in its simplicity, but difficult in its execution. I've heard/read that this disorder is the result of the perfect storm of everything going wrong. I'm very adept at reading people, and I know who this girl is. I know that she would never willingly hurt anyone. However, I also realize that much of thid disorder can be unintentional, that much of it is the result of profound and abject fear.

[eeyore]

Yeah, mine have been up, too. Bpd or not, I just get so frustrated sometimes because the solution to all of this is elegant in its simplicity, but difficult in its execution. I've heard/read that this disorder is the result of the perfect storm of everything going wrong. I'm very adept at reading people, and I know who this girl is. I know that she would never willingly hurt anyone. However, I also realize that much of thid disorder can be unintentional, that much of it is the result of profound and abject fear.

I meant just in reading your thread sent up        for your situation. 

[fft524]

Yeah, I see them, too. The T that we're seeing told me that she doesn't necessarily see BPD, but there's SOMEthing there. That in and of itself is worrisome, but I'm not writing her off. There are definite red flags, but it's hard to discern exactly what they are. There are a lot of moving parts to the situation, and its complicated, to say the least. Looking back, there isn't a history that would clearly indicate BPD, but it isn't so clear cyt that it could be ruled out, either. The simplest course of action would be to walk away, but there is enough ambiguity to make me think twice. All of her outbursts have only happened recently, and have been borne more of frustration and communication difficulties--by that I mean there are definite triggers that I can see without her explaining. When she does, its always exactly what I thought, even though I haven't explained it to her. Once we talk, the frustration subsides, and we can actually see thinhs from the other's POV. Without going into details, she is scared, ashamed, and has a hard time trusting people. She's explained that to me, And while I completely understand that bp's are talented decievers, I can see it in her eyes that she means it. She has an incredibly difficult time hiding her true feelings, and its very obvious when she isn't being truthful or when she's troubled. I'm 65% sure that it isn't BPD, but there are enough red and yellow flags to warrant extreme caution, nonetheless.

[ZigofZag]

And while I completely understand that bp's are talented decievers, I can see it in her eyes that she means it. She has an incredibly difficult time hiding her true feelings, and its very obvious when she isn't being truthful or when she's troubled.

They believe what they are saying is true a lot of the time.

I truly hope that she is not BPD for both of your sakes.