round and round up and down she gos

[simplyasiam]

after almost seven months of this living hell called a breakup ive came a long way, to being myself again. i still have good and bad days with the whole thing. its crazy how i hurt so bad the frist few months and now the ex is hurting just as bad.

i hated losing her/kids after six years, hating seeing her walk away like i never happened, hating seeing her seem to be over the BPD and want nothing to do with me and would let me having no part of her out going fun new life. well that life has crashed and shes a mess again. she trashed her new r/s. her kids have become wild. shes lost eveything she left here with. i still have my GOD job home car family and friends.

six weeks ago she started beging me to talk to her and the 1st of oct i did. i tried to help her... .be there for her, she was my friemd at one time. she had to drag me in again and tell me how she couldnt live without me. becoue of this board and friends and dealing with her for so long i knew what was coming... .hot then cold.

the nite before last she couldnt live without me wanted to come. home last nite she txt that she couldnt talk to me anymore she is blocking me on f/b and changing her cell number . we have both did that a few times. i felt a little shock reading that but this morning i was up at 530 dressed and ready for work.

i dont think she understands that at somepoint im going to be totaly done with her and she will not have to fall back on, im not there yet but im almost.

if she doesnt every call again ill be fine but i would bet before the new year she will be around again same sad song hahahaha

quess im writing this to let those of just starting out in the breakup know your life get better theirs dosent. ppl with BPD fall right back into old ways just with new ppl.

[Reg]

Hi simplyasiam,

That's the trouble and the problem with someone with borderline, they do not change.  Every dissapointment of a relationship which ended bad, and which they largely made turn bad, adds to their trauma and makes their fears of abandonment just worse.

Instead of healing, they just add trauma to themselves, and I think the best thing for us is not to add trauma to our own lives, how hard this can be.

I know that my former step daughter is also having more and more problems, but I'm not her father, although just as you did, I loved her as my own flesh and blood and took a hell of a lot more responsibility than her real father ever did.  We have to come to a point to accept that.  We can not help them or rescue them from this situation.

The only person who can do something is the one with borderline, by seeking help... .

You are doing the good thing by focussing on your own person, keep up the good work, you sound a lot better than you did weeks ago !

Hang in there, your message is a good one indeed for people who are new here, there comes a moment we all understand it and know we are better of without all the drama and problems in our life !

Reg

[simplyasiam]

thank you very much, Reg