She Made Contact Already - Have not Replied

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Yep she emailed me.  I didn't find it to be very kind - more high and mighty.  Her telling me she has been a good friend and has been there to help me out.  That she only offers friendship and my struggle with my feelings for her is not her issue but mine... .Ummmmm... .I don't feel this deserves a reply... .I do not want her so called friendship... .I have to walk on eggshells and let her look down on me from her new spirit seat? 

Nah... .seems like more of the same from her - just with a new label of righteousness ... .

[bauers220]

Yep she emailed me.  I didn't find it to be very kind - more high and mighty.  Her telling me she has been a good friend and has been there to help me out.  That she only offers friendship and my struggle with my feelings for her is not her issue but mine... .Ummmmm... .I don't feel this deserves a reply... .I do not want her so called friendship... .I have to walk on eggshells and let her look down on me from her new spirit seat? 

Nah... .seems like more of the same from her - just with a new label of righteousness ... .

[Escaped 30.Sept.2013]

Stay strong and stay NC.

I got similar - it was ME who was obsessed with him, apparently. Well, er, yes, by the time he'd finished 15 months of unintentional mind-control... .

I'm getting free now, slowly... .stay strong.

[bauers220]

Stay strong and stay NC.

I got similar - it was ME who was obsessed with him, apparently. Well, er, yes, by the time he'd finished 15 months of unintentional mind-control... .

I'm getting free now, slowly... .stay strong.

LOL - yes it seems we got the same thing.  The ego in this thing I swear... .I want to say don't flatter yourself - I don't need anymore abuse thanks.  But I digress... .Mentor is going to want me to say something... .something that says in a loving way I am done... .I just know it... .

[Ironmanrises]

Be prepared for further... .

Transgressions in your... .

Wall of NC.

Do not reply to any of it.

That weakens your position... .

Immediately.

And that is... .

Exactly... .

What they wait for.

[Escaped 30.Sept.2013]

I think the idea of "projection" seems valid in all my ex's contact since Sept 30th when I really severed contact, after 5-6 weeks of LC - I think he has been putting onto me his own fears and weaknesses.

So it's ME who is obsessed with him, and it's ME who whines, and it's ME who "smells" apparently... .

[Tricky]

Stay strong on the NC. She's manipulating you and the situation. Inevitable.

She can't help it. But you can.

[Learning_curve74]

She is full of baloney! You've been more than kind to her and she crapped all over you, isn't this just more games? When we don't want to play games, we stay away from the playground, nothing mean about it.

Your spiritual mentor may not realize that responding in any manner will probably be unproductive and actually contribute to more drama.

[laelle]

Wow, that doesnt sound very much like being friends to me.  Someone who truly "cares" about you and "understands" your pain, would leave you alone to sort your thoughts, emotional needs, and give you space to heal.

It is an attempt to say... I am not at fault as someone else loves and support me, so it must be yours... . I am here to be your friend and kick you in the ass while you are in a weakened state.  Maybe one day I will need you again, and you will be obliged to help because "I was there for you" 

That is the type of friendship that sounds a bit like an enemy.  Stay strong!  It will get better.  You do not deserve to be on a leash.  You are free if you just take the collar off...  Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

 Laelle

[Aussie0zborn]

Your "mentor" doesn't understand BPD.

Keep NC to maintain your dignity.

You can thank us for it later. :-)

[Clearmind]

"Ex, I wish you all the best. For now I do not wish to have contact" - simple to the point - its a boundary statement advising what you want. It does not mean she will comply so then its in your hands to take the next step.

bauers220, we want to prove them wrong rather than accept them for who they show us to be. She is ill, she will not see her part in it as much as you wish she would. Acceptance takes time. In the meantime we need to exercise boundaries to protect us and if that means blocking her emails then block!