a conversation between me and my BPDex...
BPD: I told you from day 1 not to ask these questions, I tell you everyday to leave it out but you carry on wanting to no, and yes I am somewhat of a retard and can't do anything right and I've got nothing going for me at all but you always want to no... I new of you found out a little bit you'd off and I told you this but you didn't listen... .I tell you I'm fine for all the right reason I just need you to accept it, I can understand if you wanna leave me coz out of all people iv met (and that's a lot) only 1 could except me, I'm sick of changing for everyone around me because they don't like it but in real world you're never gonna except me the way I am so just wanna no what your gonna do tbh
ME:ur not a retard, u just see things upside down and ur way too hard on urself
BPD: No I'm not How?
ME: becouse u make it hard for others to love u
BPD: Coz I no no one will
ME: i prove meself over n over but u never accept it
BPD:So do everyone but no one stays so why you any different
ME: becouse u wont accept it ur scared
BPD: Not scared
ME:the more i tell u i want ya the more u try and prove i dont
BPD: I no your gonn leave me at some point so why should I let myself get hurt?
ME: i duno if u lie but u change ur stories
BPD: ... .I can't explain why
ME: least ur honest when uv been sussed
BPD:This is exactly what I was afraid of
ME: me knowin ur a dick?
BPD: Yes
ME: and this is wat im afraid of u knowin it, but not being able to change
BPD:I can but I can't explain.
problem the most interesting convo we had... .this is before i knew she had BPD and was just me calling her out... .but i find it interesting towards the end she actualy admits to lieing and knowing her games, is this a good sign?
if she trys to ever recycle me im thinking of saying to her straight up and with no emotions during the whole thing... .im not judging you, and your answers change nothing but what where your lies? maybe go through our relationship and each time she admits she was wrong or confesses a lie i'll tell her im proud she can admit these things and how she should have handled it... .may even chuck her a square of chocolate each time LOL
let her know that her being wrong and admitting wrongs arnt the end of the world
In bold/underlined.
With that... .
Frame of mind... .
There is no overcoming it.
So she will... .
Treat you like the enemy... .
Because her disorder... .
Will distort... .
That image she has... .
Of anyone(you)... .
Who gets too close... .
To her... .
And will... .
Compel her... .
In the most brutal way... .
To hurt you... .
First... .
Before you hurt her.
That is BPD.
I am sorry you experienced that.
yeah iv read the same thing from others now after posting this... .mine is a little on the mend, as she told me that she needed strong boundries and that she was mentaly a child :/ she does know, she just couldnt tell me threw fear... .
at least she knows her illness and made attempts at telling me how to help control her.... .shame i didnt realise how serious it was to be taken untill after we split
In bold.
It is interesting you mention that... .
My exUBPDgf... .
In round 2... .
When she admitted... .
To her BPD... .
That she needed... .
For me... .
"To reign her in... ."... .
When she gets out of control.
Those were her exact words.
Now... .
I knew... .
Of her BPD... .
But having to control her... .?
My personality... .
Does not allow me that.
And... .
I shouldnt have to do that.
Plus... .
It made me scared to think... .
What exactly was she doing... .
Besides the out of control behavior... .
That i did experience... .
(Treating me like i was garbage... .)... .
That i needed to reign her in... .?
I dont even want to know.
