help me understand...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am perplexed by the people (thankfully very few that I know of in my case) who I think/thought were friends with me and who I have only ever known to be smart, relatively healthy and sane people, who end up believing and siding with the ex. Not that I want people to pick sides, but in my current situation this person has even rationalized away her involvement in last years parental abduction situation that she is lucky I never pursued legal action for. She has been involved in a few other things that were sketchy but she is my daughters god mother so I could see it from the perspective of keeping our daughter out of the middle. Only to find out this weekend she has chosen sides (not with me) and thinks I am actually the crazy one. I had thought she was neutral as she had been proclaiming for some time. She refused to apologize for her part in the parental abduction/custodial interference as it is called here. She didn't see it as anything more than helping a friend in need. It all just blew my mind. I was of course incredibly hurt at first, then shocked, then angry... .

Someone please help me understand how people who appear to be sane, rational people fall for this stuff? I mean this particular person is a teacher. I thought we were friends because we had gone through school together and struggled together and leaned on each other for support only to get hit upside the head like this. I am still reeling... .not so much in being concerned with her opinion because I feel pretty secure that I am not the crazy one as she said. But more the lack of objectivity here. Anyone else experience this type of thing?

[thisyoungdad]

I am perplexed by the people (thankfully very few that I know of in my case) who I think/thought were friends with me and who I have only ever known to be smart, relatively healthy and sane people, who end up believing and siding with the ex. Not that I want people to pick sides, but in my current situation this person has even rationalized away her involvement in last years parental abduction situation that she is lucky I never pursued legal action for. She has been involved in a few other things that were sketchy but she is my daughters god mother so I could see it from the perspective of keeping our daughter out of the middle. Only to find out this weekend she has chosen sides (not with me) and thinks I am actually the crazy one. I had thought she was neutral as she had been proclaiming for some time. She refused to apologize for her part in the parental abduction/custodial interference as it is called here. She didn't see it as anything more than helping a friend in need. It all just blew my mind. I was of course incredibly hurt at first, then shocked, then angry... .

Someone please help me understand how people who appear to be sane, rational people fall for this stuff? I mean this particular person is a teacher. I thought we were friends because we had gone through school together and struggled together and leaned on each other for support only to get hit upside the head like this. I am still reeling... .not so much in being concerned with her opinion because I feel pretty secure that I am not the crazy one as she said. But more the lack of objectivity here. Anyone else experience this type of thing?

[Lady31]

They fall for the BS the SAME way we fell for it.  Only it's even easier for them to be deceived because they don't see the pwBPD on the same intimate level that we do.

[thisyoungdad]

My question is then if they know us too, in this case the person knows me too or so I thought, how is it that they can believe things that are so contrary to what they have seen? But then given the other side of the "perspective" they refuse to believe it? I guess the idea they would never realize the reality is painful to really accept. I am conflicted about the relationship this person has with my daughter also.