Sunday morning I was listening to the radio when the Alison Krauss song Baby, Now That I've Found You came on. This is the song he used to play for us every morning we woke up together for at least the first year of our 5 year relationship. I hadn't heard it since our r/s ended just over 2 years ago. It took my breath away and brought me to my knees. I cried through the whole thing and have felt haunted since.
As a cherry on the cake my mom and step dad were in town for the entire weekend, for homecoming activities for his college alma mater. They called and hung out with my sister and her family, and although I was under the impression that we were going to see them on Sunday morning, they left town with out seeing me and my kid! I left a message on their phone at 10 on Sunday morning, still expecting we were going to see them. No call, no show. I still haven't heard from them. It was a very hurtful realization that I got blown off from my mom. I was very present with feeling abandoned this weekend. I took a really nice walk out in the woods and appreciated the autumn colors, letting nature do her healing work on my heart.
I've really been looking at my FOO stuff, looking for patterns and cycles that might point to why I get involved with people who devalue me. I feel I am identifying stuff from both my relationships with my parents. Now, how do I integrate this into my hardwiring so I can reroute the circuits of attraction?
In bold.
That is understandable... .
Because your memories are lasting.
That song triggered that memory... .
A powerful reminder.
I can feel your sadness.
I know it hurts.
This song gets to me... .
By Armin Van Buurmin
"Fine Without You... ."
www.youtu.be/m6Gt2D5mbrUHang in there Starshine.
