I think it's over

[ednapontellier]

Well, I have to tell someone and I'm not ready to face my family and friends just yet. My BPDh and I are separating. This has been a long time coming as we have never resolved a single issue in our almost 9 years together. We live near his family, and 5 hours from mine, so Unfortunately I won't have them nearby for support. And I will definitely be the bad guy to his family. And I can't move away because we have an amazing little girl that deserves a daddy (and he is a fabulous dad bc she is too young to bring out his issues). So I'm scared and lonely, yet strangely I'm slightly hopeful for a better life. Whew - what a mix of emotions! Okay, my secret is out!

[Knowingishalf]

Wow this post touched me.  Your story is more than a little similar to mine reverse the genders and the counseling my wife is allergic to therapy and it is almost identical.  Same times together, my daughter is the same age.  Now the mother isn't really that great at parenting but she still deserves a mother.  I just dropped the Divorce bomb on her last week and we are separated.  I can tell you the other side is a lot better than I thought it would be. From the first day I was smiling 24/7 and relaxed.  My family is aware of her issues and do not hate her in any way.  I am more afraid of her trying over and over again to recycle me.  I am so happy away from her that I would hate myself for going back to her.  It will be a trying time I am sure, you will miss your daughter when she is away.  Things will be tough, but there are some amazing people here that have amazing advice.  I know I am fortunate to have found this site.  Good luck I think this is a good thing!

[ednapontellier]

Thank you Knowishalf! It's scary and hard to know if I'm doing the right thing.

[HarmKrakow]

Happy to hear it's over and that you chose for yourself. Any help needed? Vent here.

Your little girl needs more a sane mother, than a BPD father. The more she is away from that, the better. Read the topics about children with BPD fathers, they often have some nasty tendencies to end up, yes yes, with a BPD person again.