my ex felt the need to be perfect

[Depression = 72% of members]

I remember when my uBPDexgf and I got back together (recycle) and she suggested going out with her friend that night (typical spontaneous idea). When she and I couldn't be bothered to meet up with her and her boyfriend later that night, I suggested telling her that we'd just got back together and wanted some time alone, so she texted her.

But instead of saying the above, she wrote that I had made her stay at home and I wanted her to stay in because we'd just got back together. When I saw what she had written I challenged her and asked why she had written it in that tone. She replied that she was perfect and that she didn't want to look bad so blamed us cancelling entirely on me.

This made me consciously aware that her mentality was bizzare (should have been a beaming red flag). It also made me think that even though this was a very minor situation, what else did she tell her friends etc about me to make her look good and me look bad and that nothing was ever her wrong doing or fault?

Does anyone else have situations where they realised their ex shone them in a different light to look perfect? I mean what I've described is not what a normal person would do is it?  think it is very strange...

[Jl7723]

I remember when my uBPDexgf and I got back together (recycle) and she suggested going out with her friend that night (typical spontaneous idea). When she and I couldn't be bothered to meet up with her and her boyfriend later that night, I suggested telling her that we'd just got back together and wanted some time alone, so she texted her.

But instead of saying the above, she wrote that I had made her stay at home and I wanted her to stay in because we'd just got back together. When I saw what she had written I challenged her and asked why she had written it in that tone. She replied that she was perfect and that she didn't want to look bad so blamed us cancelling entirely on me.

This made me consciously aware that her mentality was bizzare (should have been a beaming red flag). It also made me think that even though this was a very minor situation, what else did she tell her friends etc about me to make her look good and me look bad and that nothing was ever her wrong doing or fault?

Does anyone else have situations where they realised their ex shone them in a different light to look perfect? I mean what I've described is not what a normal person would do is it?  think it is very strange...

[zkirtz]

Oh me!

my #|(%Y(Y)%$ and I had to construct this closet that I bought through the IKEA. By accident we had two. We built one and the other one I brought home and I didnt get it together until recently.

Everyone knows how it works with these things, right?

There were not enough screws, the manual was in flawed German only, the hinges were too low even in the highest level, the drawers could not be opened because the door hang because of the hinges and the glue is not sticky no matter what.

it wasn't so obvious to my #|(%Y(Y)%$. Apparently, I did not screw properly. My help was making things actually worse. I could not even hold the door straight. Iam clumsy, you know. Halfway down I was literally lashed out at because the doors were still not horizontal with the 45th latitude. I have thought it was me. I cried over it. I felt so depressed and scared at thesame time. I hated to put clothes in the closet. The only thing I practically did that was not redone thrice, was gluing of the drawers. And they fell apart every time. For months the closet was a subject that we could not talk about. I got the silence treatment. I have hated myself for it.

This was in I think January. Then I left in a rush in April and now I live on my own again. With the 2nd closet that I left in the package for a long time. I did not dare to ask for any help with it.

My dad was at the house for my birthday. He saw the closet "why is it still in the box? " "oh well you know... ." I nearly passed out. Of course, this closet had not enough screws, the manual lead to thesame interpretative difficulties, the hinges were too low no matter what we did, the drawers could not be opened and the glue is not sticky. We put it up in less than two hours. We laughed and had a great time, fixing the thing. I did not dare to tell that I recognized the hingesproblem. I just said to my dad, hey well you know what it is like with these Ikea-things. And in the end he said, btw, thats no way to screw, if you keep using this old screw driver and if you let it slip like that, you'll molest the philips head. Just push it gently.

How did I dare to blame myself for someone elses perfection and another ones crooked closets, I still don't know. But all my clothes are finally stored properly now. I smile at it every day... .

[fakename]

haha... .oh yeah. my ex would tell the most stupid and unnecessary lies just to look good. even if it was something as small and understandable as having to reschedule meeting up with her sister or something... .i was always surprised/questioning what was the harm in just telling the truth... .

but yeah, my ex does the same thing you mentioned... .

she also always had to come across as an expert in anything discussed and liked having people's attention (even if it was a matter of walking through a restaurant to get to our table - she wanted people to look and think about her)... .

she claims she was raped when she was 21... i dont know whether to believe that or not... .

i also doubt that she had lumps in both her breasts which is why she got implants (first she got D's and then reduced to C's... )

she also takes diet pills when she is the last person who needs them... .

i think her time as a model screwed her up a bit... .which is a shame... .

i think thats also why she is really into having a very muscular man as her boyfriend. cause appearances matter to her way too much... .