The Internal Struggle

[Pretty Woman]

Today I scheduled an emergency appointment with my therapist. I am struggling badly.  My BPD ex just deleted every remnant of me off Facebook and then blocked me. She also proceeded to send me everything I ever gave her.

A far cry from our past breakups. She also sent me all our pictures destroyed.

I cannot see her coming back from this. This is the first time she has been this severe with me.

Weds she told me she wanted to stay friends but I was so down and wanted answers. By Friday she was thretening to change her number and told me she never wanted to see me again and was following her own path.

I am terrified she will re-engage as she did several times before but she tossed everything I ever gave her which I think would give her object consistancy.

Thoughts?

I don't really want her. I am trying to get past this, however it makes me wonder greatly what is happening this time around.

[Surnia]

I am so sorry, earth angel, to hear about your struggles. 

In the same time I am relieved that you made a call for your therapist. It was the right thing doing so.

About your ex: Sounds like she is on a very bad place, driven by a lot of destructive emotions. This is part of her mental illness.

What do you mean with re-angage? Making contact? To "stay friends" again?

I would be terrified too. Please keep in mind that you don't have to be friend with someone so destructive!

Keep posting here, earth angel. We can support you.

[fiddlestix]

I agree; your ex sounds extremely troubled.  I doubt she has made a prompt appointment with a therapist.  You have done well calling your therapist :-)  You may still be in the FOG of your baffling relationship, not knowing what to think or expect.  My guess is that your ex will continue with this bizarre behavior, maybe attempt a recycle... .who knows?   You could get hurt even worse, earthangel.  Have you tried total no contact?  You do not deserve her abuse... .nobody does :-(

Fiddlestix

[thisyoungdad]

All I can really say is that I had episodes like this happen, and I always called my therapist. If he could not see me that day he would talk to me on the phone. On a couple of occasions I called or made an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist (well LNP) who I have been seeing since well before our break up for some other mild issues. She is wonderful and I would go to her, we would discuss if I needed more anti depressants or anti anxiety meds (all as a result of the breakup) and then I could just get whatever off my chest. Needless to say that saved my bacon a few times so great self care in doing that. I am sorry though, I found this behavior to be the most painful for me personally.