Introducing Myself

[AirLock]

I have very recently come to the strong realization that my brother has BPD, his original diagnosis was Bi-Polar... .but I have never been comfortable with that diagnosis and read more about it.  Everything I have read about BPD feels like I am reading a description about my brother.

I have come on here because I would like support and understanding.  I lived with him until I was 18 with the family, then again later in life for two years.  I always thought I was helping him with bills, and family, and problems in general.  After I moved out, a panicked and fearful move, I slowly have realized that just living with him took a huge toll on my life.  Months later I am still distressed.

At this point in our relationship, he is demanding back-rent, accusing me of not paying for house repairs, denying any agreements or conversations about our living situation ever existed and twisted reality to basically demonize me.  I moved out when I realized he was abusing my dog, in the same week he moved it two people he had just met online into our home, and in general he was becoming very verbally aggressive one minute, then crying to me about his life the next minute.  I was terrified.

Since I have moved out he contacts me about once a month demanding thousands of dollars, threatening to sue, making up stories about his home being foreclosed on and him selling his car.  I have heard some very weird rumors about myself through my family, some have been extremely bizarre in nature.  I am lucky that most of my family were very happy about me moving out, and its coming out more an more that he has hurt, blamed, accused, threatened, demanded, twisted, and controlled every person in my family. 

I want to be a community that can help me through the rough patches, it hits me hard some days. My mother agrees I am probably suffering from some PTSD from my experience,  and even though I have  chosen to have no contact with my brother, it affects my personal life and relationships. I hope to learn more about this disorder, although I have studied many aspects of mental health through my education and work, living with it is much harder and more confusing than I ever could have imagined.  Reading the posts in here has helped me understand, and help me make decisions for my own health.

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi Airlock!

*welcome*You have definitely come to the right place if you want support and understanding!  We have many family members who can relate to your situation.  I think many people with BPD are originally diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder.  It seems to be kind of a stepping stone. 

I'm so sorry to hear the distortions your brother seems to be living with.  I am struggling with determining whether my dd believes her distortions or makes things up in order to fulfill some need she has at the time.  It's really hard to tell the difference sometimes.

It's wonderful that your family is supportive of you!  That can be extremely beneficial to your healing.  I also suffer from PTSD. What are you doing to take care of yourself?  Many people find it very helpful to seek counseling when they are supporting a loved one with BPD.  How is your family affected?  Are they speaking with your brother?

I hope to hear from you soon!

-crazed

[Hazelrah]

Airlock,

I'd like to join crazedncrazymom in welcoming you to the site.  It sounds as if you've been put through the wringer by your sibling.  After having been married to a borderline, I can certainly understand your reference to the emotional toll it takes on us when we're exposed to their illness on a daily basis. 

Borderlines often project a lot of anger onto people who are close to them, so if he is indeed suffering from BPD, this sort of behavior wouldn't be uncommon.  Please know that it is really about the shame and turmoil he experiences internally, and shouldn't be taken as a reflection of your own worth. 

This is a great site, and I hope you find it helpful as you move forward with your healing.  Glad you found us!