Finally a diagnosis that makes sense

[rosemire]

I have an 18 year old daughter that has been receiving mental health treatment for many years. We have had numerous psych diagnoses and been treated to no avail. Last month, she did some impulsive stuff and had her first inpatient treatment as an adult. That's when we got the diagnosis of BPD. I sort of rolled my eyes and thought "ANOTHER one?" but once I started reading, it makes perfect sense. More sense than anything else!

Unfortunately, I feel this diagnosis has come too late. She's an adult and will not seek treatment.

Why am I here? For support as her life gets crazier and I watch her spiral downward. I love my daughter. I want to continue to love my daughter, but I don't want to enable her. I just... .need to know that other people get this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Hi, rosemire & 

I'm so sorry for all the trauma and pain you are going through with your daughter; it's so hard to have a child we love and have high hopes for, and then see them act in ways that confuse and alarm us. I truly understand what you are dealing with, and want you to know that you have found the right place for comfort, support and information.

I know that you feel her diagnosis has come too late, but I assure you that at 18, she got it sooner than lots of us with children with BPD. My own adult son (36) has had problems beginning very young (ADD, Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideations & Substance Addiction), and was only diagnosed in March/April 2013 with BPD. I would've loved for him to have had this proper diagnosis at 18... .Because once he was diagnosed he got the right kinds of therapy and treatment and is now in the recovery process and doing very well.

I know it's true that your daughter won't get "better" until she realizes she needs help and then agrees to get it; there's time for that to happen... .I see you have found the Parenting Board already: Please read the links on that Board to the right-hand side of the margin there. Start at the top of the margin links and work your way down; the information will educate you about this disorder and show you how to deal with and communicate with your daughter to help her in the process of getting help and getting into a better place. Please keep posting over on that Board, and asking your questions over there; things can get better!