Really Really Confused

[Oracle]

Hello Everyone

I just want to say this.  I have spent a lot of time reading on this site especially the tools dealing with the possibility of staying in the relationship.  The more I read the more I wonder if I am the one with BPD? My SO seems to do and say the exact same things that I have been reading on here as if he was a non?  He shows all the symptoms which is why I have joined this site in the first place, but he even uses the same words/ideas that have been used in all the sections that I have read?

Am I going mad?

Oracle.

[Maro12]

Wow, I have the same thoughts right now! Am I going mad, this push-pulling / warm-cold game made me crazy. I do not know if she wants me to stay or to go or what is really happening? Any clue how to really look on the all case realisticly? At the end our emotions are highly involved here. 

[Clearmind]

Oracle, we cannot diagnose and if you are at all concerned consider seeing a professional.

I think many of us have had the same thought as you. Certainly we see ourselves as the "non" in this union however there is no such thing as a "non" - none of us are issue free - especially if we date a Borderline.

Not every attaches to a Borderline and vice versa and we all have our reasons as to why we did. For me, I came from a very invalidating environment as a child. My ex gave me incessant invalidation in the beginning and I thrived on it - I felt whole - until he would devalue and it was very reminscient of my childhood. I was triggered.

Remind yourself there is no such thing as a 'non'.