Expert in Stalking & Snooping

[Our abuse recovery guide]

As a girl, my mother would tear through my room looking for incriminating evidence of things I was doing wrong. My mother and my brother (the golden child) would spy on me and laugh at me and call me stupid (for no reason, just sitting in my room). As an adult, my mother has called my phone MILLIONS of times from a blocked number, shes broken in to my email, voicemail, facebook, ect. She use to drive my by house and look in my windows but doesn't now because she thankfully does not know where I live.

I have two young children and I fear that if (when) she figures out where I live that she will stalk me in order to see them. She has never met my children and never will, if I can help it. I had a restraining order years ago but that is way expired. I have been no contact (basically) for almost 7 years. For the most part, she has given up her efforts to stalk me and find me BUT she still does send letters and gifts to me and my kids via my brother.

Do you think there is a chance she is still hung up on me and may one day attempt to find me again?

[Alwaysgrowing]

As a girl, my mother would tear through my room looking for incriminating evidence of things I was doing wrong. My mother and my brother (the golden child) would spy on me and laugh at me and call me stupid (for no reason, just sitting in my room). As an adult, my mother has called my phone MILLIONS of times from a blocked number, shes broken in to my email, voicemail, facebook, ect. She use to drive my by house and look in my windows but doesn't now because she thankfully does not know where I live.

I have two young children and I fear that if (when) she figures out where I live that she will stalk me in order to see them. She has never met my children and never will, if I can help it. I had a restraining order years ago but that is way expired. I have been no contact (basically) for almost 7 years. For the most part, she has given up her efforts to stalk me and find me BUT she still does send letters and gifts to me and my kids via my brother.

Do you think there is a chance she is still hung up on me and may one day attempt to find me again?

[Clearmind]

Welcome!

That is a a difficult question to answer because we can never control the actions of another. We can however be prepared and carry on with our lives despite our parents actions - and not let them impact us.

Being violated like you have is very hurtful. Trust that you are an adult now and can and will protect your little lion cubs if you need to. You could not do this as a child however now times are different.

- change passwords often

- be mindful of what you share with others who are close to her

- Even without a disorder parent FB is a complete invasion of privacy in any case

- don't answer blocked numbers - I don't - remind friends that if they have blocked numbers you simply are unable to answer them. They may need to text instead initially and you call them back.

Any other ideas on how you can protect yourself?

Always, live your life free of your mothers restraints.

[MyNascence]

I know the feeling of fear lurking in every corner.  I often wonder when/if she will rear her monster head again. 

My therapist said to be prepared for her to emerge when I least expect it and when it's the worst possible time.  But to try not to live in fear, because that robs us of today.  So far she's stood her ground, I believe she wants me to come crawling back to her.  3 years later, and I still haven't. 

I hope for your sake, you are able to maintain your peace.